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Thursday, April 30, 2009

Obama’s First 100 Babes

Well, for better or worse, we’ve made it through the first 100 days of the Obama presidency. There’s been a few ups, a few downs and whole hell of a lot of people acting like total douchebags. But regardless of whether or not you think Obama’s first 100 days has been a success, there’s one thing we can all agree on - super hot chicks! So we’ve compiled the loveliest lady from each day of the first 100 days of the Obama presidency to give you Obama’s First 100 Babes!



































































































Miller vs Bud Beer Girl Showdown

Throughout the history of the world, factions have rivaled against one another - Trotsky vs Stalin, Ali vs Fraiser, Tupac vs Biggie. But today we have taken the age-old art of rivalry one stop further with Budweiser beer girls vs Miller beer girls. It’s the sexiest head-to-head since the invention of beer. And the best part is, these chicks are so hot, it’ll have you thirsty in no time.


Budweiser Beer Girls















Miller Beer Girls











Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Top 7 Ass-Getting Hollywood Assclowns

If the following guys lived anywhere but Hollywood, and did anything but entertain, these assclowns would be picking from the bottom of the babe food chain. But as it is, they are getting more undeserved booty than a fleet of pirates, shacking-up with some of Hollywood’s elite hotties. We’re not saying they’re bad people. All we’re saying is the women are getting ripped off.

Check out the 7 Top Ass-Getting Hollywood Assclowns after the jump!


Wilmer Valderrama


What can I possibly say about this guy? He played Fez on That 70’s Show, the most annoying foreign guy on TV since Balky, but somehow he hooks up with the sexiest starlets in all of Hollywood. This guy’s babe roster is second only to Derek Jeter and Leonardo Di Caprio. Total D-bag, but we’d take his sloppy seconds any day.









Brian Austin Green 

Brian Austin Green made a name for himself playing David Silver in the popular 90’s TV drama Beverly Hills 90210. He was a total ass in the 90’s, which makes him a retro-D-bag. Green is lucky enough to say he hooked up with Kelly Kapowsky during her hot years in the 90’s, and is currently dating the 2008’s Sexiest Woman in the World, Megan Fox, who recently said she would rather stay at home all day having sex with Green then leave the house. Someone punch this guy in the nuts already…




Talan Torriero

Talan was a star of the early seasons of MTV’s “Laguna Beach.” Talan is a perfect representation of the new school of celebrity that can thank reality TV for their “stardom.” Ironically, it is all of the reality TV peeps who have the biggest chips on their shoulders, and Talan is no exception. He had a relationship with Kristen Cavallari on the show, and was known as the jock of the group. He went on to have a nine-day engagement to Sexy Rock Spawn Kimberly Stewart, and has tried and failed in his attempt to build a music career of his own. Can’t knock the guy though, because he’s gotten it on with some pretty good looking babes, including the lead singer of The Pussycat Dolls. Who’s on your list?








Adam Duritz

Lucky Son-of-a-Bitch #1 is Adam Duritz, lead singer of the ‘Counting Crows.” He looks like the bastard child of Sideshow Bob and Joey Ramone’s corpse. Over the course of 15 years, he has bagged some of the sexiest leading ladies in Hollywood–including the daughter of Donald Trump and John Mayer’s new squeeze, Jennifer Aniston.







Criss Angel

To you and us, Criss Angel is just another fruit cake with a funny hair cut. His shows are half Jackass and half David Blaine mixed with hepatitis. But this TV D-bag magician knows how to work the magic on some of Hollywood’s sexiest starlets. The first time we laid eyes on him, we had him pegged for a gay–but if you can tag Pam Anderson, you are straight enough.








You know Benji and Joel Madden from the pop punk band Good Charlotte. One of the Madden brothers recently had a baby with one of our Sexiest Rock Star Spawns while the other is dating her best friend… such a quaint love triangle. Don’t let them fool you into believing they are settling down, these guys have a long history of hooking up with some of Hollywood’s elite, and they’ll be back in the game soon enough. They may think they are hardcore punk/rock, but any one who was a part of “Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous” is pop. Sorry dudes, pose away!

6a Benji (Right) 




6b Joel (Left)


10 Porn Stars Who Gave Their Bods To God

Despite all the smiles and moans, it turns out that having sex on film for money can really mess a person up. So after having had to deal with all types of demons, from horrific childhoods to drug and alcohol problems to just feeling like a used piece of meat, these 10 porn stars traded in fame and fortune in the porn industry to become servants of God. 


Crissy Moran

Now known on her Myspace page http://www.myspace.com/yourfriendcrissy as “Once was lost but now am found, Crissy,” Crissy Moran left the porn industry in 2006 after becoming a born-again Christian. Before finding God, appeared in tons of videos and in magazines around the world, with a majority of her photos appearing in Hustler. Despite rumors that Crissy had returned to porn, nothing could be further from the truth. Instead, she’s now living the good life, working at as an assistant manager at a tanning salon. Which is definitely a change of pace from earning oodles of cash by showing people your a$$hole.


Bettie Page

Believe it or not, the infamous Betty Page got her start in modeling with a police-officer/amateur photographer, who helped Page put together her first modeling portfolio. After getting set-up with some underground pornographers, Page began shooting her now-iconic bondage and sadomasochistic photos with photographer Irving Klaw, which depicted her a both a leather-clad dominatrix and a bound and gagged submissive mistress. In 1955, she appeared as Playboy’s Playmate of the Month and soon after became “Miss Pin Up Girl of the World.” But all that changed in 1959 when she converted to Christianity after attending the Key West Temple Baptist Church. She then went on to work for evangelist Billy Graham, and left the world of being naked with cheetahs behind her.


Houston

Busty blond, Houston was once one of the leading writers, producers and stars in the adult industry. She rose to stardom after the release of Houston 500, a film in which she f**ks more than 620 dudes in a row. Houston soon after appeared on the Howard Stern Show, went to prom with one of his listeners, and life was good. OK, that’s a lie - apparently, when you screw over 620 dudes in a row, it changes things (who knew?) and she too went to work for the Lord, which, surprisingly, didn’t involve anything close to marathon f**k fests.


Sky Lopez

If you’ve ever been to spring break in a place where doing the most debaucherous things imaginable is all there is to it, then I don’t have to explain to you why someone named Sky “Spring Break” Lopez would eventually get sick of that sh!t and join a church. Sure, partying and having non-descriminate sex might seem like a good thing when you’re only there for a week. But try making that your entire life and you’ll know why Sky Lopez is now a soldier of the man upstairs. (Hint: It has nothing to do with wet t-shirt contests.)



Michelle Maren

Michelle Maren got her start in the sex industry as a go-go dancer after winning the 1981 Miss Big Apple competition. She then went on to work as an escort for eight years before starting in porn. But as she says on her blog http://michellemaren.blogspot.com/ , she was the only one who wasn’t getting totally wasted on drugs while shooting, so she “didn’t last very long,” having only worked as a porn star for one year, starring in only one movie, “Throat: 12 Years After.” Gee, couldn’t have seen that one coming…er, something like that.


Samantha Fox

Before Lucy Pinder and Keeley Hazell, there was Samatha Fox. The British glamour model first got her start in nude modeling after her mother sent in photographs of the then-teenage Fox to a newspaper modeling contest. She tied for first, and soon appeared topless in the publication (with consent of her parents, of course.) Needless to say, her awesome rack quickly launched her to celebrity status and Fox found herself in the pages of magazines like Playboy. But then God kicked in and ruined everything for everybody after Samantha left the adult industry to pursue more Christian endeavors. Way to go, God…



Linda Lovelace

Possibly the most famous porn star of all-time, Linda Lovelace (born Linda Susan Boreman) gained international fame for her role in the now-infamous 1972 flick, Deep Throat. But her time in the industry wasn’t all smiles and blow jobs. Before Deep Throat, she was forced into the adult industry by her ex-husband, Chuck Traynor, who had her making 8mm beastiality movies, like the classy title, Dog F**ker. She eventually divorced Traynor, turned to God and became an outspoken anti-pornography advocate, saying in her 1986 autobiography, Out of Bondage, “When you see the movie Deep Throat, you are watching me being raped. It is a crime that movie is still showing; there was a gun to my head the entire time.” So, um… I think now I need to go to church.


Sophia Lynn

A fairly recent convert, Sophia Lynn left the adult industry in 2008 to go back to school and, of course, go back to Christ. After her retirement from porn, she took a job as a church secretary at the Celebrate Community Church, a non-denominational perish in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, where she currently works and causes every single dude in Celebrate Community Church to want to cheat on their wives.


Shelley Lubben

Like many of the ladies on this list, Shelley Lubben, known by her stage name, Roxy, had an extremely rough and tumble life. She was sexually assaulted at age nine, and spent years as a prostitute in order to support herself before entering the adult industry. After contracting genital herpes, Lubben left the industry and became a devout Christian, making it her mission in life to steer people away from porn in whatever way possible, saying the industry is out to “completely destroy you and your family through its ability to lure you, support your addiction to porn and make a profit off of it.” So, that’s one way to look at it…



Erica Campbell

Beautiful, busty stunner Erica Campbell first got her start as a glamour model after winning the Mystique Magazine Model Safari in 2003. Her smokin’, all-natural bod was soon being featured in the pages of Playboy, and was named Playboy’s “Special Editions Model of the Year” in 2005. She was also a Cyber Girl of the Month in 2006 and a Penthouse Pet in April 2007. And even though most of her work is far more tame than a lot of the women on this list, the industry soon drove Erica to close down her Website and start devoting herself to Christ, that lucky bastard.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

The Gratuitous Hot Chicks And Mirrors Collection























Painted and Pregnant


















Monday, April 27, 2009

World’s Sexiest Motivational Posters






















Top 10 Bad Hollywood Boob Jobs

Nothing makes shallow celebs happier than a stiff injection of saline solution. But just like with Kevin Costner's acting career, things sometimes go horribly wrong.


Audrina Patridge.

The Hills has a lot to answer for. This MTV-produced bucket of rotting fish bait was thrust upon our small screens in 2006. Audrina has probably had breast implants, as they look perkier and significantly larger than they used to. However, we forgive her; any girl’s boobs would droop in the presence of Spencer Pratt.



Jewel.

Jewel’s musical career has been declining in recent years. A boob job can usually help fix a performer’s esteem at least for the foreseeable future. Unless that boob job leaves you with some bizarre wrinkles that look like your granny’s forehead when she is frowning as you try to explain to her what bukkake is.



Jenna Jameson.

Well it’s no surprise to find Jenna on this list. Jenna’s boobs were once a 32DD and currently come in at a more petite 32C. At one point, her boobs looked like they were made from Play-Doh; You could definitely see Tommy Lee’s handprint there. And a bit of his arm (what do you mean that’s not his arm... oh... Wow!).



Tori Spelling.

Tori is an evil genius. Bad boob job? Of course, but have you seen her face? We’re all too busy staring at her mammary glands to actually realize that Tori looks like that guy you keep seeing down at the market who has nice legs and boobs, but you are sure he is a guy because of his huge hands and chin (and moustache). And you worry because you keep getting a bit of a chubby when you see him/her. But you also secretly like it. You want the man/woman/beast don’t you? And Tori knows that




Tara Reid.

Way to go Tara, not easy to push Tori into 2nd place. Remember Tara in “American Pie”? She was cute, sexy, and incredibly hot. Fast forward 10 years and tell me if you had a choice between Tara Reid and a meat grinder, which you’d take home to introduce to your parents? Tara’s boob job is so nasty that she was once used by NASA to scare away a potential alien invasion. The extra-terrestrials took one look at those Hellish mounds and beat a hasty retreat. She is an all-American hero.


Victoria Beckham.

It was hard not to put Victoria in first place, her boobs are not just bad, they’re actually hilarious. Apparently she had them spaced like that deliberately to remind her of home, specifically, the English Channel. At some points, the English Channel is only 21 miles wide, just a bit slimmer than Overtanned Spice’s cleavage. Seriously, are they boobs or neoplastic benign tumors growing out from her armpits from frying her skin too much?



Pamela Anderson.

The queen of the boob job. There was a point when Pammy’s breasts were so large that astronauts could seem them from outer space (or rather the dust that collected on top of them). Her boobs have been chopped up so much that her nipples are practically falling off. Pammy is so plastic that when she dies it will take 1,000 years for her body to decompose.



Donatella Versace.

The horror, the horror. She’s making my eyes bleed, please, put me out of my misery.



Paula Abdul.

I think it was just wrong of Simon Cowell to put Paula in a microwave. That’s what he did you know. Look at her. She looks like a prune with all the juice sucked out of her. If she got bitten by a vampire she would just explode like a piñata full of dust. Her boobs look like she uses them to weigh vegetables by hooking a balance on nipple rings. Yuck.




Vivica Fox.

Vivica Fox had such a bad boob job that “Vivicas” is now a term used to describe breasts that have hardened breast implants. Really, check the Urban Dictionary. Vivica played a hardened killer in Kill Bill Vol 1. No doubt she put her newfound skills to use by pounding the butcher who shoved an old pair of sandals in her chest cavity.

Best Ever Ladies’ Confessions The Top 100

When women misbehave, we like to know about it. When they stray, we want to hear when, where, and most importantly how. We’re not so bothered about who and why but if they tell us, we’ll listen. So here are 100 Ladies' Confessions, faithfully compiled


#100
“I proceeded to lick him from head to toe”


I was seeing this guy who had only ever slept with one woman before me – he’d had a girlfriend for eight years, so getting him into my bed was a mission. His ex must’ve been pretty straight in the sack, as when I whipped out my box of toys for the first time, he almost spunked his load there and then. Anyway, I liked him and thought it’d be fun teaching him a thing or two. After we’d been seeing each other for a few weeks, I finally got him in bed and told him I had a surprise for him.

I tied him to my headboard with my stockings, blindfolded him, and proceeded to lick him from head to toe spending plenty of time on his knob. My hands ran all over his body and within half a second he came like the falls. I sucked it all down hungrily before freeing him from the bed and removing his blindfold. I could see the lad was in a bit of state but I fell asleep soon after. The next morning we woke up and he seemed more nervous than ever. Eventually he plucked up the courage and said I was too experienced for him and that he couldn’t go out with me. When he left my house I fell about in fits of giggles.

#99
“I have to admit I had my hands down his pants”


My boyfriend and I have been going out for nearly a year and have a very experimental sex life. One day out shopping we stumbled across Ann Summers and having dared each other to go in we decided to invest in a remote activated clit teaser. We got back to his house and decided to go to the cinema with this thing on me. I gave him the remote control and off we went. He didn’t test it until the film started, but my God was it worth the wait.

Each time he pressed the button the device would vibrate gently against my clit and push me closer and closer to orgasm. We draw the line at sex in public but I have to admit I did have my hands down his pants while I clenched my way through every orgasmic wave. It got too much for both of us and we had to leave after just 30 minutes of the film. On the drive home he pressed the button to keep me as horny as hell and once we were back at his flat he finished me off with his tongue, which is still the best way to do it.


#98
“I had sat him down and straddled his dick”


During my time at university I was sleeping with a sexy sports science student. He had a girlfriend in his hometown who’d visit him, but whenever she wasn’t there I’d have my way with him. I was still shagging him as we approached the end of our third and final year and I wasn’t looking forward to graduation day when I would have to see him with his family – and her. The day finally arrived and I soon caught sight of my man with his girl in tow. As soon as I saw him alone though, I darted over, grabbed him by the hand and pulled him towards the toilets. He must have known what I was thinking because he followed me without saying a word. We dived into a cubicle and within seconds

I had sat him down and straddled his dick riding him like crazy. I wanted to make him orgasm like never before so he wouldn’t forget me. I begged him to come inside me as we fucked, me flinging my hair around in bliss. He came like crazy, and I spotted him later that day in the queue to return his graduation clobber – you should have seen the wry smile on my face as he handed his gown back with come stains down the front.

#97
“As we screwed we could hear hospital staff”


Last year, following an operation, my boyfriend was in hospital for a few weeks while he recovered. After a couple of days of teasing each other and sly fumbles under the sheets we both began feeling a little desperate for some action. So, one night I decided to visit my man while wearing a very short tartan miniskirt and tight white blouse.

As soon as I arrived in his room his eyes lit up and when I told him I wasn’t sporting any underwear he almost discharged himself there and then! Anyway, after almost half an hour of naughty talk I finally had the courage (and the horniness) to ease myself gently onto him and shuffle his sheet to the bottom of the bed. He was as hard as a rock and the kinky talk had me wet and hungry for him. I eased his dick into me and gently began rocking back and forth, taking care not to hurt him. As we screwed we could hear hospital workers chatting casually just by the door, but we nervously carried on.

The slow movement and days on end of sex starvation combined to make an extremely intense fuck for both of us, which climaxed in us coming in tandem. I climbed off my man and sat chatting to him until his parents arrived for a visit, oblivious to the fact that I had just been shagging their “poorly son.”


#96
“He quickly bent me over a bale of straw”


My ex-boyfriend was from Cornwall and during our first summer together, he took me to visit his parents back in his hometown. Being the traditional people they were, we had to sleep in different rooms – even on separate floors of their house. This drove us absolutely crazy with sexual frustration, so every opportunity we got to be alone, we tried to get some fast relief. On the last day, his parents popped out to the local shop to get something for lunch, so we knew we only had a few minutes to get it on – which added to our excitement.

We raced out into the empty field behind the house and he quickly bent me over a bale of straw, yanked my wet knickers to the side and slipped his cock inside me. It was so good to finally get it that I spread my legs as wide as I could and lifted one knee onto the bale so he could really thrust deep. We were going at it so fast that the straps on my top slipped off and my nipples were being tickled by the hay.

Just at the point we were about to come there was a loud “Moooo!” and we both jolted in shock. Turning around, we saw a solitary cow tilting its head, admiring our alfresco fumblings. The cheeky spectator, who looked extremely confused, didn’t stop us from finishing our fun, though!


#95
“This sent me into another dizzying climax”


During a week-long college trip to Spain, I stayed with a girl called Victoria and her lovely family – and most lovely of all was her stunning older brother, Alfredo. The hot weather allowed me to wear my skimpiest, sexiest outfits – I could tell he was interested in me. One night I went out with Victoria and her brother, and as soon as her back was turned we were flirting like mad. Vic was really drunk so we put her to bed and I joined Fredo for a cigarette in his room when he whispered something in Spanish, which I didn’t catch. 

Baffled, I replied, “Si.” Instantly he pounced on me, pinning me to the bed and pulling my clothes off. Horny as hell, I positioned myself so he could finger me while I sucked his cock, then, without warning, he literally picked me up clean off the floor and fucked me against the wall. I was coming within seconds, well before him, until I felt him ejaculate hard inside me too. 

This sent me into another dizzying climax during which I unwittingly bit down on his lip. He howled in pain until I let go. I had clamped so hard that it drew blood and the poor chap had a blackened swollen lip for the remainder of my stay.


#94
“Eventually, I had him massaging my pussy”


Recently, I started swimming at a gym and last week I was so pleased with my new, hot body that I bought a sexy little bikini and headed to the pool. I strutted around seductively, pretending I hadn’t spotted the sexy lifeguard giving me the eye. At closing time the pool emptied and I began getting horny at the thought of what could happen if I hung around. I got out of the pool and stood under one of the poolside showers while he cleared up.

As I spotted the lifeguard wandering over, I slipped a hand into my bikini bottoms and slowly played with myself. The guy looked around to ensure we were alone and stepped into the water with me. I had to coax him into it, but eventually I had him massaging my pussy. He must have only been about 20 (I’m 28) but I was past the point of caring. Desperate to shag him, I led him into the pool where I took out his cock and eased it into me.

We fucked gently at first, causing small ripples across the water but were soon going at it frantically, creating big waves. I had one of the best orgasms you could possibly imagine. It was only then that an elderly gent strolled out of the sauna without so much as seeing us. A second earlier and he could have had a heart attack.


#93
“And he soon blew his load into my mouth”


I was in my first year at Bristol Uni when I met a guy from the flat upstairs. He was one of those people I knew I’d end up shagging, but it wasn’t until a drunken night a few months later that he had the courage to kiss me. It was worth the wait. We rushed out of town and across the Clifton Suspension Bridge, but halfway across, I couldn’t contain myself and dropped to my knees, taking his dick in my mouth and sucking gently on it in a quiet alcove.

The thrill of being spotted was a turn-on, and he soon blew his load into my mouth. We’d just about got ourselves together when two policemen arrived to see what was going on. They said they’d had calls about a potential suicide attempt – obviously our huddle had been mistaken for a person in distress! With a bit of his come still in my throat, I croakily assured the coppers that we weren’t depressed at all.


#92
“He slowly worked his way down my body”


One hot summer’s evening as the office started emptying, I caught the building’s handyman watching me with a kinky look. By 7pm I was ready to head home, but felt so sweaty I decided to shower in the office bathroom. As I opened the door, the same guy called over and said it was broken. “I guess I’ll have to stay dirty,” I purred as his jaw dropped open.

He mustered the courage to say he really wanted me and within seconds he had me undressed to my thong and up against the wall. Starting at my neck, he slowly worked his way down my body until he was gently kissing my wet pussy. I arched my back with pure pleasure while his tongue went to work. Desperate to feel him inside me, I lifted one leg from the floor and he took this as his cue to screw me.

I groaned as he pushed into me and we both began sweating like mad – I just loved how dirty it made me feel in the thick heat. When it was over, we dressed in silence, breathing hard, and made our way back to our work areas. Little did I know I’d be giving him his P45 later that month due to staff cuts!


#91
“I clung to his headboard screaming”


A few months ago I pulled this great-looking guy in a bar in Surrey and agreed to go back to his for a night of full-on kinkiness. Sure enough, once we’d got to his place we wasted no time in pulling each other’s clothes off and getting down to it. We were both drunk but it didn’t lose any of its intensity, and I could feel myself getting wet from his kisses alone. By the time he had his head buried between my legs I was howling like mad. Anyway, the guy then asked me if I’d dress in a nurse’s uniform for him! I’m quite a kinky cow so I thought, what the hell – and felt fantastic in the naughty outfit.

He took me from behind as I clung to his headboard screaming with pleasure until I jolted into an almighty orgasm, dropped my head into his pillow and fell into a deep sleep. In the morning, feeling randy again, I played with myself while asking him about the nurse outfit. “Oh that, it’s my mum’s old uniform,” he calmly replied. Feeling a touch disgusted I made my excuses and left.


#90
“He played with my pussy until I was red hot”


I was out with some girly pals at a Seventies night for which we’d all got dressed up – me in a miniskirt, tight top and pink wig. Towards the end of the night a cool guy in flares and a funky shirt hit on me. I was horny and didn’t make him work hard, in fact we left the club within minutes of meeting. We hailed a taxi and once inside began getting it on – I let him play with my pussy until I was red hot.

When we pulled up at my flat we literally ran inside and were screwing on the hall floor as soon as the front door was closed. I’d never felt so slutty, I even asked him to come on me. It didn’t finish there, in fact the two of us had sex four times that night – pretty good for a girl who’d had six white wines and four double vodkas.

#89
“He locked my legs apart on the bed posts”


My ex used to love role-play and on his birthday I decided to give him a special treat. I dressed up in full police woman garb, complete with a ridged baton and handcuffs. When he got back from work it didn’t take long for him to start chaining me up with the cuffs. Using the new set, and an existing pair, he locked my legs apart on the posts of the bed and began to penetrate me with the baton.

The ridged, stiff nature of the implement brought me to orgasm in less than a minute. My man then inserted his own baton inside me, and with the thrill of my legs still locked apart, a second orgasm powered through me. Even now, I get excited when I see a kitted-out copper on the beat.

#88
“He spun me round and bent me over the desk”


Me and my boyfriend work at the same supermarket. We’ve always joked about having sex in our manager’s office and one evening, I decided to go and find my man. Grasping his hand, I led him into the boss’s den, pushed him onto the desk and slid my hand down on his cock. Then, in one swift move, he grabbed me, spun me round and bent me over the desk. 

Parting my soaking underwear, he eased his cock inside me. He used one hand to hold me steady and the other to play with my clit, making me come over and over. We didn’t really have time to savour the moment, but now whenever either of us is called to his office we can’t help but laugh at the filthy goings on that had taken place, bent over his beloved family photo.

#87
“He came in my mouth, I gulped it down”


Feeling horny on a day out at the seaside, me and my fella wandered off to find a quiet spot. Over a few sand-dunes we settled down in a wind-free dip and started some alfresco fumblings. He was working wonders with his hands in my bikini bottoms until I slipped down his body and took him in my mouth. I loved the way it felt, it made me so wet.

When after a few minutes he came in my mouth, I gulped it down. Next he began to lick at my pussy and I could feel the sun, his tongue and a slight breeze on my clit. The three sensations had me coming like crazy. Suddenly we both jumped with fright as we heard a kid shouting, “Bang bang!” and firing a toy gun at us. The little guerilla then sprinted off shooting at heaven knows what else. Thank God.


#86
“Desperate for his dick, I parted my legs”


As a student nurse, men are fascinated by my uniform but in reality it’s not all that sexy, so I got a better version from Ann Summers with which to drive my boyfriend bonkers. Recently, after a boozy night out with the girls, I came home, slipped my kinky outfit on and lay in bed waiting for my man to return. I fell asleep but was awoken to find him on top of me kissing me roughly on my neck. 

He was all over me and soon began pulling my knickers down, which made me stupidly wet. Desperate for his dick, I parted my legs and he started to screw me like crazy – the uniform made me feel ten times sexier. We both pushed into each other until we experienced a great mutual orgasm. It was at that exact moment, laying in each other’s arms, that one of our housemates pushed the other one straight through our unlocked door. He caught an eyeful and ran off laughing. Tosser.


#85
“He spun me round and slid his cock inside me”


My boyfriend was stacking bales of straw on my mum’s farm and looked terrific. I sneaked up behind him, grabbed his hands and tied them to one of the barn’s rafters with some baling twine. I kissed him up and down his back before moving in front of him, kissing his nipples. Then I lowered his shorts and took his rock-hard cock in my mouth, running my tongue the full length of his shaft.

It became too much for him and he managed to break the twine. Freeing his hands he spun me round and slid his cock deep inside me, thrusting till he came hard. As he pushed into me he rocked an entire hay bundle over – sending the two of us sprawling. Painful, but my goodness worth it.


#84
“He started running his hand up my leg”


Two days into a summer cruise last year, my friend began to complain that she felt unwell, so I went to arrange an appointment for her with the ship’s doctor. I was pleasantly surprised to discover that he was really fit. But while I described my friend’s symptoms, I became aware that I was blushing because of the intense eye-contact we were making.

I shrugged off my nerves and began flirting outrageously until he started running his hand up my leg. The next thing I knew, he had lifted my skirt up and was gently rubbing my clit. It was so kinky, I had no complaints when he bent me over his medical couch, pulled my knickers to the side and began to hammer into my wet pussy. After a minute or two, I came so hard that my legs gave way, so he had to hold me up until he came too. My friend didn’t get the same treatment.


#83
“I began sitting on him and riding his dick”


I’m used to having drinks bought for me by guys but during this year’s trip to Ibiza, I was swept away when I met a bloke in a bar who snogged me, and then invited me to his yacht the next day. When I arrived, he led me on board and we sailed out to sea. Once we’d anchored and been for a dip, he lay me on the warm wooden decking, peeled off my tiny bikini and gently eased his tongue into me — I was quivering instantly.

Soon I began sitting on him and riding his dick. We were so far from land that I was happy to scream my kinky lungs out, begging him to go deeper. I came very hard and rolled off exhausted, letting the breeze cool me down. I can’t wait for my holiday in Ibiza again next year.


#82
“The fizz made my nipples ache with lust”


Short on cash, me and my man decided this year’s holiday would be a budget trip to France. We packed a brilliant picnic, drove to Dover, got onto the ferry and stayed in our car to dig in. We popped open a bottle of champagne and, as always, it made me very horny. I took off all my clothes, moved my seat so I was lying down and began pouring little amounts of the bubbly down my tits for my boyfriend to lick off.

The fizz made my nipples ache with lust and I even let a few pours dribble over my pussy, which my man licked up expertly. I then took a large mouthful of champers and wrapped my lips around his dick. The bubbles must have been amazing because he was coming in seconds, so I gulped down the kinky mixture. Needless to say, we stocked up on more champagne for the long return journey home!

#81
“I lay on the carpet and he got on top of me”


Last month I went to a very plush and boozy black tie ceremony with my work colleagues. The fun soon turned to flirting, which then turned to outright filth when I led a guy out of the hotel and into a taxi. We managed to behave during the journey but once inside my flat, we went crazy. While I pulled his trousers down and took his cock out, he forced my tight black dinner dress up and helped my thong slip to the floor.

I lay on the carpet and he got on top of me. He began shagging me while I pulled him deeper and deeper into me. I remember the orgasm vividly because it was so great, it actually sobered me up! The next day the poor chap had to return his tux to Moss Bros and explain the suspect white stains all over it.


#80
“I rocked myself back and forth on his knob”


I’m not usually into older men but I was out in my home city when I was hit on by a guy who must have been 40. He clearly had a lot of cash and was plying me full of drinks for hours. Eventually he plucked up the courage to ask me back to his hotel and I had loosened up enough to agree. He took me to the penthouse suite of the five-star Hyatt hotel. Once there, I dropped to my knees and sucked him until he was extremely hard, then calmly walked to the huge window overlooking the city and cocked my arse towards him.

He slid into me gently and I rocked myself slowly back and forth on his knob. It was amazing being hundreds of feet up — looking straight down and being fucked gently. Eventually, we both came but we were screwing so slowly that the orgasm lasted ages. By then I was a hungry girl and, of course, needed room service.

#79
“It was so kinky, I had no complaints”


Two days into a summer cruise last year, my friend began to complain that she felt unwell, so I went to arrange an appointment for her with the ship’s doctor. I was pleasantly surprised to discover that he was really fit. But while I described my friend’s symptoms, I became aware that I was blushing because of the intense eye-contact we were making. I shrugged off my nerves and began flirting outrageously until he started running his hand up my leg.

The next thing I knew, he had lifted my skirt up and was gently rubbing my clit. It was so kinky, I had no complaints when he bent me over his medical couch, pulled my knickers to the side and began to hammer into my wet pussy. After a minute or two, I came so hard that my legs gave way, so he had to hold me up until he came too. My friend didn’t get the same treatment.

#78
“He realised what I was – or wasn’t – wearing”


Wanting to put the bang back into my sex life with my boyfriend, I attended our local fireworks display wearing a sexy long jumper with nothing underneath. Standing by the bonfire, I slipped a hand into his coat pocket and started stroking his dick, which stiffened instantly. Horny as hell, I pulled him aside and went down a side alley for some fun. 

His face was a picture when he realised what I was – or wasn’t – wearing and without encouragement he pushed me against the wall, hitched up my jumper, and we banged away to the rhythm of the fireworks. I was so horny that I couldn’t prevent a loud cry as I came. Luckily, my appreciation was hidden by the oohs and aahs of the locals enjoying fireworks of their own.


#77
“Feeling my body warm up with the orgasm”


Last week I was alone at a launderette when I decided to test whether washing machine vibrations really are a huge turn-on for girls. Jumping onto the machine, I felt my clit getting stimulated almost instantly. I was getting really turned on and slipped my hand down my trousers, letting my fingers enter my warm, moist pussy.

The combination of my fingers on my clit and the vibrations shuddering through my pussy was out of this world and I was soon climaxing hard, feeling my entire body warm up with the orgasm. I even managed a second fiddle before an elderly couple came in and put an end to my experiment. Conclusion? Well, I’ll certainly be doing it again.


#76
“I handed him a condom and he screwed me hard”


I’m quite a brave girl when it comes to making sure I get laid once a month, but one shag a few years ago was bold even for me. I had been living in halls of residence at uni for two weeks, when we were warned that all our electrical goods would be tested for safety reasons. I had seen the guy testing them in the halls opposite, and thought I’d have enough time to have some fun with my new Rabbit before he tested my room. 

What I didn’t realise was that there was another electrician testing the rooms in our halls at the same time! Unaware of this, I’d started to play with myself and become insanely randy when there was a knock at the door. I ignored it but then heard some keys jangling so I got myself together and opened up. There was the electrician, who wasn’t my usual type, but I was so randy I didn’t care. 

Inviting him in, I opened my dressing gown and he wasted no time getting me over to my bed. Hurriedly, he pulled his overalls down, I handed him a condom from my bedside table and he began screwing me hard. It made me feel super-dirty and was just what I needed to re-reach the orgasm I was so close to minutes earlier. He, of course, came too and didn’t hang around, darting out of the door without even testing my electrics.


#75
“Because of the handcuffs I couldn’t stop him”


I spent Christmas Day last year at my boyfriend’s parents’ house getting drunk on champagne. At about 3pm the entire household, bar us two, went out for their annual Christmas Day walk while we opened our secret pressies to each other. I was rather pleased with the pair of fluffy handcuffs he’d got me and he was thrilled with the toffee body paint I’d got him. 

Incredibly horny and more than a little booze-fuelled I was begging my boy for a quick shag, so we raced upstairs and got down to it. Handcuffing me to the bed he began to paint my tits and clit with the toffee goo, then he let his tongue flick over me, teasing my nipples with his teeth, before allowing himself to wander down my body. 

I was aching for it so he began gently lapping at my clit – it was almost too much but because of the handcuffs I couldn’t stop him. Finally, he slipped his fingers inside me while his mouth carried on its expert work. I couldn’t believe the size of the orgasm I had. And, of course, we’re packing both toys for this year’s trip to my parents’ house.

#74
“I reached down and caressed his cock”


Last summer my boyfriend and I did some shopping in town before deciding to have a rest in the local park. Looking through what we had bought, I pulled out the discreet vibrator he’d got from Ann Summers. He dared me to use it there and then. Flicking it on, I eased my knickers to one side and tilted my body so only he could see. He was clearly going crazy over his private show and when I put the vibe in my mouth he almost passed out.

At that point, I reached down and caressed his cock which was already rigid, then got on top of him, unzipped his jeans, pulled out his knob and gently eased it into me with a sigh of relief. Members of the public – I hope – thought we were just larking about but in fact we were having the most gentle and intense shag of our lives. We were ten minutes in when a bloody football walloped me square on the head!


#73
“I came before him so I took him in my mouth”


At the Reading Festival this summer I got chatting to this guy who’d pitched his tent near mine. After a few drinks we were on top of his sleeping bag and I was letting him see my sexy, new knickers. Having been starved of cock for over a month, it wasn’t a surprise that I was already getting wet. Pretty soon those knickers were off and my legs were spread as I received the hard screw I’d been craving. 

Amazingly, I came before him so I took him in my mouth and sucked until he came. We both collapsed into each other’s arms and lay there catching our breath, when, seconds later, the sound of applause began to build from other tents around us. Clearly, we’d been a little vocal in our exploits!


#72
“I felt my pussy warm instantly with lust”


I was “ill” last month so took the day off work. I whiled away the hours by playing with myself and watching TV. Anyway, by about 4pm, I realised that my student neighbour – who I’d shagged once before and I knew to be keen – was out in his garden. I called out from my bedroom window and within minutes found him outside my door with various medicines to “look after me”. Well, he certainly did that because as he sat on my bed I told him the one thing that would take my mind off the sickness was some sex.

Awkwardly, he agreed to help me out and began touching me. I felt my pussy warm instantly with lust and pushed my duvet off the bed. He hitched my nightie up and eased his cock gently into me. Before long I was clinging at the bed covers as he slowly screwed me. The poor guy came quite quickly but I didn’t mind because he instantly went down on me, licking away until I came too. I think I can feel more flu coming on this week…

#71
“I hitched one leg up so he could screw me”


One day this summer my man and I decided it would be a perfect time to go for a bike ride in the New Forest. We set off and, having cycled a good few miles in the blazing heat, we began to feel a bit hot and sweaty, so we decided to take a quick break in the shade. Having spent all day on a bike I was feeling horny and before I knew it, my boyfriend pushed me up against a tree just off the cycle path. He started kissing me passionately while frantically pulling my tiny shorts down. I hitched one leg up so he could screw me, which he did wonderfully.

We shagged like wild animals and went on for ages until I was on the cusp of orgasm. It was at that moment, just before I felt like I was about to explode, that I spotted the funniest looking duck waddling passed us. As if disgusted with what it saw, it paused, bellowed out a brilliantly loud quack, then walked on its way. An instant fit of the giggles prevented any further filth.



#70
“Filthy comments and being in public turned me on”


I hadn’t seen my boyfriend for weeks and was incredibly horny by the time he came to visit. Unfortunately, we were hardly ever left alone as my family is very traditional – so whenever we could we’d get down to it as quickly as was physically possible. One day, near the end of his stay, we were on a bus ride home when my boyfriend slowly slid his hand up my skirt and into my knickers. As I angled myself away from the gaze of our fellow passengers, he played with my clit and whispered how he wanted to fuck me.

The combination of his filthy comments and being in public turned me on incredibly and within seconds I was whimpering. He wasted no time in getting two fingers inside me and I was literally biting my hand to stifle my moans. I’d never been so wet and soon my whole body clenched into a hard orgasm. For hours afterwards my cheeks were flushed – and not through any sort of embarrassment.


#69
“As he groaned I pressed my hand harder”


While working as an instructor in a hotel gym I was approached by one of the guests who owned an awesome BMW Z4. He wanted a free personal training session and since I was working alone I decided I would strike a deal with him – I’d put him through his paces if he took me for a ride in his car. We did the workout and the following night he picked me up. He wasn’t much of a looker but the speed and purr of the car turned me on a lot, so I mustered the courage to place my hand on his crotch.

He was instantly aroused and began driving even quicker. As he groaned I pressed my hand harder against him, then unbuttoned his trousers, leaned over and took him in my mouth. By the time we got back to the hotel he was achingly hard and I needed him inside me. Once in his room, I pulled his trousers down and dropped my knickers, then turned and bent over so he could fuck me. It was out of this world. You may have noticed fast cars drive me utterly ravenous.


#68
“We kissed while he played with my breasts”


Last year I was dancing in a beach bar in Thailand when I noticed a couple eyeing me up. After a few drinks they came over and introduced themselves as Greta and Christen: young, married and Norwegian. Christen wasn’t really my type, but I found Greta sexy: her Scandinavian accent, blonde hair and blue eyes were a real turn-on. Even though I’d never had a threesome it was obvious what was on all our minds and we were soon walking along the beach to their holiday house, and after a few nervous giggles I agreed to join them in bed.

Our clothes were discarded and our hands and mouths began to explore each other’s bodies. Greta kissed me while her man played with my breasts. Christen then slid a hand between each of our legs and pushed two fingers inside my wet pussy, and two in hers. We returned the favour by taking it in turns to suck his cock. The booze meant we were uninhibited and Greta climbed on top of Christen, and he beckoned me to sit on his face. I came in seconds, while Greta did what she did best and rode her bloke into a huge orgasm. I regularly think long and hard about that experience, usually with my fingers.


#67
“Instantly he had his hands inside my suit”


I’m an estate agent and last month I was showing a guy around a very plush West London flat. He was young but obviously had a lot of cash behind him and, at the risk of sounding like a money-grabber, it turned me on. The flat was empty but furnished and our outrageous flirting resulted in him asking me out on a date. I didn’t see the point in waiting that long and decided to take him on a guided tour of the kingsize bed.

Instantly he had his hands inside my suit, undoing buttons before going down on me. His tongue against my clit in someone else’s bed drove me potty and I was coming like a banshee and pulling his head into me within minutes. Obviously I rolled over and let him have some fun too, shuffling my legs apart so he could shag me from behind, tugging gently at my hair. Weeks later he ended up buying the flat and I ended up with a huge commission cheque. A good day’s work, methinks.

#66
“Whipped off my knickers and slipped into me”


I live with a guy who I’ve never fancied, we are just great housemates and we keep it at that. But all this changed when I split up with my boyfriend recently. My housemate took me out for some drinks to cheer me up and I drunkenly told him I was already missing sex. The conversation got quite candid and he asked if I’d like him to shag me that night. We discussed it and I agreed that a one-off shag would do no harm.

Excitedly, we raced back to our flat, into my room and got down to it. I never knew this side of him but he picked me off my feet, lay me on my back, whipped off my knickers and slipped into me. It was bliss. He pinned me to the bed and I pulled him deeper into me. I have never been screwed so hard and the slight pain was fantastic. Eventually I told him to come on me, so, pushing my T-shirt up he did, shooting across my chest before collapsing, exhausted. What are friends for after all?

#65
“Shimmying my pants down, I took out his cock”


On a trip to Amsterdam my boyfriend and I were walking through the red light district and all the kinkiness made my pussy start to tingle, so I dragged him into the nearest sex shop to take a look at some of the toys. We had hardly got through the door when he made his feelings clear. He pulled me into one of the porn booths, put some money in the slot to get a hardcore scene on the screen and sat me on his lap. I was feeling randy in the extreme and the porn pushed me over the edge.

Shimmying my pants down, I took out his cock and sat down on it with a sigh. I gently rocked back and forth as we watched the dirty movie, him touching my clit as we fucked. Tipping my head backwards I felt my orgasm shake up and down my spine and my man came inside me at the exact same time. We then went for a post-shag “special” cigarette to unwind.

#64
“But I was too close to coming to stop”


My sister tied the knot last summer in a beautiful old mansion. I was a bridesmaid and the amazing dress I was in made me feel decidedly naughty. Once the formalities were over we all set about getting tipsy and I went into flirting hyper-drive. There must have been a dozen guys after me but I picked the best-looking man and, towards the end of the night, took him to a small room, hitched my skirt up, pulled my underwear to one side and let him place me on the window sill and fuck me.

I could hear the guests leaving outside and my mother calling me to say goodbye but I was too close to coming to stop. Biting on his finger I whimpered as the warm orgasm went through my veins. Mummy would be most disappointed.


#63
“Without saying a word we were kissing”


Every New Year I like to set myself a naughty resolution and this year was no exception. I work as a bargirl and on the big night it was all hands on deck so the new, extremely fit barman who’d been working there for just a week was also on a shift. I instantly made him my resolution. Flirting like crazy I began feeling a kinky tingle well before midnight and the endless brushing past each other made serving drinks to pissed up partyers far more bearable.

Come midnight the bar cleared for the countdown and the barman motioned for me to follow him out to the storeroom. Without saying a word we were kissing and grinding hard against each other with his hands going straight for my pussy. With his fingers inside me I played with his hard cock until I knew he was about to orgasm. Sinking to my knees I took him in my mouth for just a few seconds until he came. Having swallowed all, he helped me to my feet, sat me on a beer barrel and licked gently on my clit until I came too. When we returned, flustered, to the bar there was one hell of a queue for drinks but even that couldn’t wipe the smile from my face.


#62
“To reward him I let him slide inside my bum”


I go to acting college, and take it from me, us wannabe thespians are a horny bunch. Last month we went for some post-lesson drinks and, as my classmates got more hammered and went home, it ended up just me and one other guy. He wasn’t that attractive but by now I was horny-drunk so I suggested he come back to mine and stay the night. He jumped at the chance. Entering my room I was mortified to see I’d left my bedside drawer open with my Rampant Rabbit clearly visible, but thanks to the drink, we soon had the vibrator out and in use.

The feeling of my toy inside me and the guy’s tongue on my clit was almost too much and I was noisily coming like mad. To reward him I let him slide inside my bum while I kept my Rabbit in my pussy. To avoid embarrassment the next morning, we simply woke up and screwed again before rolling into college an hour late to a chorus of knowing cheers.


#61
“I took out his cock and eased myself onto it”


I met up with an ex last summer and there was the usual underlying simmer of sexual tension. Anyway, we rather stupidly went for a few drinks and began flirting like crazy. We reminisced, mainly about the experimental bedroom antics until we were both desperate to screw. So, not wanting to go back to either flat for fear of what our housemates would say, we ended up in our local park. It was a hot night so we found a clearing and I shuffled my underwear off, lay him on the floor, took out his cock and eased myself onto it.

It felt so naughty that I was climaxing almost instantly, and pinning him to the floor I was able to get him deep into me. I came again and again, playing with myself as we screwed until he too couldn’t hold on any longer and orgasmed loudly. It was then that a manic dog came bounding over to see what all the fuss was about! Fortunately his owner was far in the distance so we dressed and ran off giggling.

#60
“Rubbing my clit through my soaking knickers”


My boyfriend has been serving in Iraq recently, so when he told me he was coming home for some R & R, I knew that would be the last thing on his mind. I picked him up from the airport and as soon as he saw me in my tartan miniskirt he became horny. Sure enough by the time we were in the car his hand was rubbing my clit through my already soaking knickers. We drove to a car park and within seconds I was in the passenger seat with my skirt up, my knickers to one side and riding his cock roughly.

After only a few minutes I felt a wave rush through me that was so powerful I thought I was going to pass out. It was only after we composed ourselves and made ready to set off that I realised there was a man in the estate opposite looking through his window applauding. As we drove off I gave him a cheeky smile, lick of the lips and toot of the horn.

#59
"After some girl-on-girl fondling we left”


Myself and my housemate both split up with fellas last year, so we embarked on a weekend of debauchery to get over them. The first night we both pulled guys but didn’t ask any back, so the second night was all about getting laid. Soon we’d found two handsome lads who were splashing the cash. A bottle of champers later and they were back at ours.

To get them in the mood my housemate and me did our party trick and snogged for them. After some girl-on-girl fondling we went our separate ways taking our respective men with us. The sounds of wild sex filled the house until I heard my housemate come, so I let myself do likewise. We’re meeting the lads again and hoping to swap partners.


#58
“It took a number of gulps to get it down”


Last year my boyfriend and I visited countless show homes while we were looking for a house to buy. The second one we viewed was a lovely bungalow. We spoke about how we’d have sex in the rooms we saw as we looked round and by the time we got to the en-suite bathroom my man was rock hard. Without him needing to ask I locked the door, sunk to my knees and gave him a long blowjob. I could tell he was enjoying it but was clearly nervous as he tried to pull away at the first sign of people outside, but the more he struggled, the more I pulled his body towards me and sucked. 

Eventually he came so much that it took a number of gulps to get it down. By the time we were done there was a queue of people waiting to see the facilities and an estate agent hammering at the door. Red-faced, we marched out of the bathroom and straight out of the house without even glancing up. Nice place, but definitely worth missing out on.

#57
“Gentle spanks became harder as we screwed”


My boyfriend recently got a job as a manager at a new bar and invited me along to the opening night. I was spoiled with free champagne, which always worsens my naughty side, and my short dress was getting kinky looks from everyone. I was chatting to a girl when my guy came waltzing over, made some excuses for us and led me through the bar and upstairs to his office. Bending me over so my hands were holding the door shut, he lifted my dress and shuffled my knickers to the floor.

I’ve never needed sex so much! His gentle spanks became harder as we screwed and I let myself talk a little dirty, begging him to come. As we went at it someone tried to get through the door I was holding shut and the thought of a person on the other side was driving me mad. Eventually I hitched a leg up to get him deeper into me and this was enough to make us both come. We returned to the party grinning like kinky Cheshire cats!


#56
“Dressed to the nines as a dominatrix”


When I was 18 my older sister took me to a fancy dress party at her student house in Southampton. There was a really cute guy there, dressed as a schoolboy, who myself and my sis immediately took a shine to. Dressed to the nines as a dominatrix, she didn’t hold back and wasted no time in making her feelings clear, but fortunately she overdid it on the punch and was soon in bed, semi-conscious. My tight tennis dress with no bra and little blue panties worked a treat though and a few hours later I was hunting for a spare room with the lad in tow.

Unfortunately, the party had spread to every corner of the house, except my sister’s room where the guests had left her alone to sleep it off. Not us. We crept into the middle of her bedroom floor, where I unzipped his shorts, shuffled my panties to the side and straddled his cock. Being yards from my sis made it super-horny and I came between naughty giggles, squeezing him inside me. As she began stirring we clambered to our feet and were decent in time for her to open her eyes and drunkenly tell us to get out.


#55
“His cock felt hot so I took a swig of soda”


My boyfriend and I went to the local cinema to watch an afternoon showing of Alien Autopsy. The film was rubbish so we were soon looking for another way to entertain ourselves. I fumbled around his jeans until he was hard then, having checked we weren’t overly visible, undid his flies and took his cock out. Dropping to my knees I sunk my lips around him, making him stifle an extremely obvious sigh of pleasure. His cock felt hot so I took a swig of soda, held it in my mouth and let the cold bubbles fizz on his dick.

All this was getting me going so I turned around and eased him into me as I sat on his lap. I rotated my hips slowly, speeding up the more he squeezed me, until he came. I wasn’t done so I made sure he fingered me silly until I’d climaxed as well. There were clearly a few turning heads in the audience so with a giggle we high-tailed it. Thanks, Ant and Dec, for a crappy movie!


#54
“He could hear my whimpers but I didn’t care”


On holiday recently, I decided to explore the hotel steam room and, while alone and bored, I began to play with myself a little. Wet and breathless, the experience was a real turn-on but a guy walked in so I stopped. I could hardly see him for the steam though, and feeling frustrated, I pulled my bikini bottoms to the side and began rubbing at my clit again.

Watching him watching me and not knowing if he knew what I was up to sent the blood rushing south until I was coming hard. I’m sure he could hear my whimpers but I didn’t care. I must have played with myself for over ten minutes, before feeling a little faint and having to go out for a breather. I was more than a little flushed after that work out.


#53
“Hitching my skirt up, my bf eased into me”


I was at my boyfriend’s house with his family dreaming about sex when I became very horny and insisted we slope off. Looking for an area to get down to it we passed our friend’s flat. He was on holiday but my man had the spare key and so we sneaked in. We felt bad about doing it on his bed but his white leather sofa was a different matter.

With my hands on the arm rest and my knees on the sofa I cocked my little bum out. Hitching my skirt up, my boyfriend eased into me. It was great, racy sex that left me weak at the knees. Disastrously, though, my black leather boots had marked his leather covers. Scrubbing wasn’t getting it off – so we did the decent thing. Left and ran home!

#52
“I parted my legs and let him play with me”


During last summer’s heatwave I took a day off work and went to the beach to sunbathe. It was virtually deserted and piping hot so I stripped to my bikini, applied some lotion and lazed. Throughout the day a guy kept running back and forth along the shore until he settled next to me to warm down. We got chatting and I asked him to rub some cream on my back – cheesy I know, but it worked. His hands massaged my shoulders – a sure-fire way to get me wet – then moved down to my lower back and onto my bum.

His intentions were clear so I parted my legs and let him play with my pussy. The heat, sweat and feel of his hands inside me gave me the warmest, sexiest orgasm ever. It was so intense everything went white for 20 seconds. Concerned about being seen but desperate to fuck him we went into the shallow sea where he sat down and I straddled him. We splashed away like crazy causing our own waves until he came. Seaweed has never felt so sexy!

#51
“I dropped to my knees and unzipped his flies”


When I was 18 I got sloshed in my local pub and began flirting with my 35-year-old neighbour who offered to walk me home at closing. I accepted and we decided to cut through the playground of a school. It was deserted and dark so I dropped to my knees, unzipped his flies and took him in my mouth. I’ve always been great at giving head and he was hard within seconds, so I spun around and let him take me from behind. The naughtiness of it all was clearly too much for my poor partner who came almost instantly.

Anyway, I got home and was met in the hallway by my parents who scolded me for being in such a state. They even said I was extremely lucky our neighbour was around to be such a gent. I was in no hurry to tell them that my scuffed knees weren’t down to me falling over drunk but from getting screwed doggy-style on the playground’s hopscotch board! The next day they even sent me round with a bottle of wine to thank him, which I did – this time with a far longer session.



#50
“Chloe got the pocket vibrator she’d bought”


Last month I hosted an Ann Summers party for some old girly friends. If you don’t know what this entails it’s all about checking out new vibrators while getting drunk. Anyway, all the sex toys were turning me on and I could tell I wasn’t the only one. A uni pal, Chloe, who I’d had a drunken fumble with a few years ago, had the same dirty look in her eye. As the party came to an end she hung around until it was just the two of us left and we began reminiscing about our kiss.

We had a re-enactment of the snog but this time things got hotter and Chloe got the pocket vibrator she’d bought and rubbed it across my nipples, stiffening them instantly. She then ran it down my body and up my skirt before settling outside my knickers. I parted my legs and she gently placed the tip on my clit.

Clutching at the sofa I had a dreamy orgasm while she kissed my neck. Of course I had to repay the favour with the already wet toy! We’re planning on getting it out in a week’s time for yet more filthy fun.


#49
“I sat him down and gave him my own dance”


It was my birthday and I’d been out with friends when one pal suggested a visit to the strip joint. Having never been to one I agreed and we dragged the rest of the group with us. I was apprehensive at first but when my female friend suggested we get a private dance together I agreed and loved it. My bloke, who was watching us, was clearly enjoying the show and began throwing money at girls to give us a joint dance.

By the end of the night he was virtually dragging me home for some action, so, in his lounge, I sat him on a chair and gave him my own dance. Grinding up against his lap I could feel how hard he was as I pulled my bra down – I didn’t know I could be so slutty! At breaking point I unzipped his fly and sat on his cock. With deep, circular motions I made him come in seconds, squeezing out every last drop. We’re now both gold card members at the club.

#48
“I began to shuffle my thong and tights down”


I work as a waitress at a restaurant in a top London hotel and was serving a young, hot businessman and his friend recently. They ordered loads of booze and food, racking up a £900 bill. As they left, the guy handed me a £50 tip with his room number written on it. So, when my shift ended I went to meet him. We got on really well and we were sat on the balcony drinking when he dropped his trousers and motioned for me to straddle him.

Hitching my skirt around my hips I began to shuffle my thong and tights down my legs and off. Turning round I sat backwards allowing his hard dick to slide straight into me. He then lifted me clean off my feet, my hands gripping the balcony ledge, as he fucked me 200 feet above London. I was so exhausted I went straight to his bed, where we slept and screwed all night. By morning I was serving him breakfast in my crumpled uniform, waiting for a second huge tip and instructions on when to go up for another night of filth.


#47
“He kept on licking my clit and fingering me”


About once a month I hit the town commando because it always helps me pull. Anyway, recently I went to an Edinburgh club and opted not to wear anything under my skirt. After pulling a hot guy, we left and went to his place. He sunk to his knees and with a lift of my leg began licking me out. It was tricky to stand and a huge orgasm turned my legs completely to jelly so he carried me to his bed.

There he carried on licking my clit and fingering me until I had my first ever multiple orgasm. It actually sent me blind for a few seconds! By morning I was exhausted and had a very long walk home. On the way a gust of wind caught me unawares sending my skirt shooting up and baring all to the street!

#46
“I could squeeze around his shaft as he came”


I went to the theatre to watch Othello with my boyfriend but my mind wasn’t on the play – I was too busy thinking about how much I wanted to have sex. During the interval I told him that I was feeling naughty. We decided to skip the rest of the show and my boyfriend virtually dragged me back home. Once we were in the hallway I turned my back to him so he could run his hand up my dress and put his fingers gently inside me. I leant forward and had a wonderfully warm orgasm. By now I was soaking wet and desperate to have him inside me. Straddling him I slid slowly onto his cock.

It felt so amazing and thanks to my Kegel exercises I could squeeze tight around his shaft as he came. Days later I mentioned to his parents that we’d been to see Othello. It turned out to be their favourite play and they bombarded me with questions about the tragic villainy of lago, whoever the hell he was. All I could remember was how wet I was and how good their boy was in bed!

#45
“She was far gentler and slower than most guys”


I’ve had two girl-girl experiences in my life, both with a lesbian friend of mine. The first one was about a year ago and, as you’d imagine, involved a lot of booze. I met her from work to talk about my recent break-up and we sat drinking in the sun for hours and as we got more pissed I asked her about what it’s like to go with a girl. She was very forthright and said that she didn’t fancy me but, if I wanted, we could sleep together so I could see for myself. I spent an hour plucking up the courage then agreed.

We were right by her offices so we sneaked in and found a long couch. At first it was a bit awkward; I couldn’t stop laughing and I could tell I was being clumsy. But before long her fingers were inside me and it felt fantastic. She was far gentler and slower than most guys, which meant my orgasm could build up and up until I came like mad. I felt really horny and when she moved my hands down to her pussy I felt like I knew exactly what to do. Soon she too was whimpering.

On Monday morning I received an e-mail from her saying one of us had got lipstick all over the couch and her boss was trying to work out what the hell it was!


#44
“It wasn’t comfortable but it didn’t matter”


Showers make me horny. Very horny. I was out with some friends in a bar when we got chatting to a group of guys. The flirting moved on to discussing sexual fantasies and one of the lads said he loved sex in showers, instantly making him my target. By midnight the two us were heading back to my place in a taxi. As soon as we were indoors we began pulling each other’s clothes off and making a beeline for the bathroom.

Just feeling his cock against my skin with the warm, soapy water almost made me come. Desperate to screw, I lay down with my legs on either side of the bath and let him enter me to mutual moans. It wasn’t particularly comfortable but it didn’t matter because the humid air and slippery bodies made it very intense. Pulling him deeper into me we both began coming at the same time and it lasted for ages. Afterwards we lay with the water running over us for 15 minutes then went at it again! Filthy behaviour has never been so clean.

#43
“Our noisy nookie had attracted an audience”


My bloke turned 18 when we were in Majorca, so being a loving (and dirty) girlfriend, I told him whenever he said the word “submission” he could do anything he wanted to me. Later that evening we passed a villa and he bolted into action. He ordered me to jump the fence, strip and get in the pool. I was wet before I was naked, but he made me wait. We swam, touching each other until neither of us could take any more; then he lifted me onto the edge of the pool and told me to play with myself.

Within a few flicks I was oblivious to everything. I rubbed faster and faster, until my boyfriend placed me onto him. When his warm juice filled me my whole body shook. I was still shrieking when I became conscious of cheering. Our noisy nookie had attracted a gang of lads who’d been mightily impressed. Embarrassed, but still horny, we threw our clothes on and ran to our hotel for another more private sesh.

#42
“I was wet as she peeled my lacy knickers off”


I had a few mates over for a girly evening recently. Most of them staggered home but my best friend stayed to help tidy up. We got to it but, being a tad tipsy, ended up messing around. We wrestled each other until we landed on the floor giggling. Suddenly we stopped laughing, looked into each other’s eyes, took a deep breath and kissed. I’d never tried it with a girl before, but the drink lowered my inhibitions and it just seemed right. Her hands roamed up the side of my legs.

An encouraging moan escaped my lips and she slid one hand up my stocking and onto the inside of my thigh, while the other unclipped my bra. She must have noticed I was getting wet as she peeled my lacy knickers off, lifted up my skirt, parted my legs and took a good, long taste of me. Her tongue flicked across my clit, making me gasp. And when she came up and kissed me and I tasted myself on her lips, it turned me on even more – prompting me to return the favour.

#41
“5 for anal, 3 for sex, and 1 for oral”


I’m a promiscuous, single girl living in London – a city where it’s great to be a promiscuous, single girl, especially since the birth of “social networking” websites. Last year I set my profile up with the usual saucy pics and within weeks I was regularly shagging two or three of my “friends”. My pals were getting loads too, so being of a competitive nature we struck a bet – whoever could nail the most MySpace men in a week would win an Ann Summers voucher. Things started well. By Friday I had racked up 27 points (five for anal, three for sex, and one for oral), yet amazingly I was behind.

I saw the lingerie slipping away… until I spotted a hunk at the bus stop by my flat. I rushed outside and asked for his number. He gave me it, then got on the bus, but as it pulled away my libido took over – I phoned him and ordered him to get off at the next stop. I met him with a long kiss and then led him to my flat, where we spent the next few hours doing all sorts to each other until my weekly total flew over 40. He signed up to my site before he left and suffice to say he’s now my top friend.


#40
“I peeled off my catsuit as he begged for me”


I loved my bloke – big words, but true. Then I read the texts on his work phone and found messages from a couple of women. Work, pah, it was filth – more spread legs than spreadsheets. I began plotting revenge, calling the girls to let them know the situation and asking them to drop round. Soon I got into my leather catsuit, took a snap and sent it to my man’s mobile. He burst through the door ten minutes later, already hard as cement, but I made him wait. I threw him to the bed and went to work with my special box of tricks. I spanked him till he was raw, then tied him up and peeled off my catsuit as he begged for me to sit on him.

He was so excited he would have shot as soon as he got in me, but he never got the chance. Just as our flesh touched, the doorbell rang. I jumped up, slapped him for good measure, then put on my dressing gown and went down to inform my friends what was going on, before leading them into the room and letting them film the now flaccid wimp. Soon it had been Bluetoothed to the whole town.



#39
“I leant over and he finished off in my mouth”


My boyfriend and I were on the bus going shopping. The journey was boring and since I was gagging for it I decided to have some fun. I started to run my fingers up and down his thigh and whisper what I wanted to do to him. I was soon in filthy talk overdrive and he was getting extremely excited, so I put his coat over his crotch, unzipped his jeans, put my hand into his boxers and massaged his balls and ever-hardening penis.

As we neared our destination he started groaning in my ear, telling me he was about to come. I didn’t want him to have messy jeans, so looked around to make sure no one was looking, leant over and let him finish off in my mouth. Can you believe we shopped all day and he never complained once?

#38
“Covered me in come then filled me with more”


My boyfriend was working nights at his hospital and I had my married friend Sophie over for some wine and DVDs. She was texting a physiotherapist and we ended up inviting him and a friend both over to my boyfriend’s house. They arrived in literally ten minutes! They were both very young and lean. A few glasses of wine and some snogging led to me fucking one of them downstairs and Sophie fucking the other in the spare room.

The one I fucked first covered me in come then filled me with some more. We kicked them out at about 3am and went to bed. My boyfriend came home to find one very unfaithful wife and one very unfaithful girl in his bed asleep and didn’t have a clue. He went to sleep in the spare room. When Sophie and I woke up we were giggling so much we woke him and he got very cross. I know I shouldn’t have done it, really…

#37
“She went down on me while I masturbated her”


I went over to a female colleague’s house on a Friday night for a party. At the end of the night me, her and a guy decided to go to bed, aware that more would happen. So we all went to the girl’s room and, after a couple of minutes, the door opened and her housemate came in. “You don’t seriously think I’m gonna miss out on all the fun?” she asked, and joined us in bed. All four of us started to feel each other up, kiss and undress each other.

Me and one of the girls gave the guy a blow-job at the same time, which was fun! The bed started to get a bit crowded after a while so the guy started to screw my colleague on the floor, right in front of me. It was incredibly sexy! Me and the other girl got down to it on the bed, she went down on me while I masturbated her. The hottest part was knowing the other two were watching us…

#36
“I pushed him onto the bed and took control”


While I was living in halls at university, a guy I hardly knew from one of my classes came over to get some notes off me the night before an exam. I let him in and gave him the notes, but didn’t get up from my chair or anything. He stood there chatting then, after a couple of minutes, said, “I’ve just got to do this,” grabbed my arms, pulled me up out of the chair and kissed me…

It was so hot that I pushed him onto the bed and took control. I slept with him three times and then sent him home. Plus, I got an A+ (and the highest mark in my class) on that exam.


#35
“The guy I wanted was so friggin’ good”


When I was 21 I was out clubbing and saw a guy that I had talked to earlier that night. As I was leaving he and his friend said that they were drunk and needed a place to stay. Since I had my eye on one of them I took them home. The guy I wanted slept with me while the other was on the couch (this is all the same room).

The guy I wanted was so friggin’ good and we had sex with me laying on my back on his stomach while he thrust into me and rubbed my clit. I was pretty vocal. I think the other guy watched and after that he leered whenever he saw me. Oh well…

#34
“A prim-looking secretary sat next to me”


The sluttiest thing I ever did was to pull my panties up really tight before I got the bus to work with the sole intention of using the vibrations of the bus to make myself come. The bus wasn’t full and I had a double seat to myself. However after a few stops, a very prim-looking secretary type got on and sat next to me. I was so far gone by this time that I couldn’t stop myself, even if I had wanted to and I had a shattering orgasm.

I had to cover my mouth with my hand as if I was about to start coughing – I don’t think she sussed it, but somehow I hope she knew! To be honest, I was so horny it wouldn’t have mattered who was next to me.

#33
“We screwed for an hour with him watching”


I was in Australia on holiday with my boyfriend when this beautiful, but much older, girl started flirting with him. Had I not been there, I’m sure he would have snogged her, but then she started talking to me. She came onto me, then told my boyfriend to go get a room; he was so apprehensive about it, but finally the three of us went to the suite.

We drank lots of champagne and I was really drunk. This girl and I were sitting on the bed having drinks and he stood next to the bed. All of a sudden he looked at her and said, “Kiss her, now.” She said, “I’d love to, but she doesn’t want me to…” My boyfriend said, “Yes she does, she just won’t say it.” Anyway, we screwed for about an hour with him watching… nothing we didn’t do. Finally he joined in, but I was too tired to help, so we ended with me watching her give him a blow-job. Wrong, but it still is sooo hot to think about.


#32
“Go on then, I said, but you’d better be good”


When I was 17 I had just lost my cherry to a boy in school (in America) who was really sporty, but didn’t take me very seriously. The sex wasn’t so bad, but I ended up quite hurt and wanted to get my own back somehow. Later when one of his rivals invited me to go sailing in his dad’s boat I was really keen. He invited two of his mates and we went out for most of the day.

As happens with teenagers we ended up flirting and talking sex and they asked if I was still a virgin. I said no, but it had been crap, so of course they all said they could show me something better. We’d all been drinking and I wanted to piss off my ex so I said, “Go on then – but you’d better be good.” I ended up trying all of them; it still makes me tingle to think about it. I can’t believe how wild I was, although I ended up dating one of them for ages.




#31
“I felt his erection pressing against me”


I was on a beach in Spain with my boyfriend. There were several topless girls that my boyfriend was slyly looking at so I took my top off too. There were a group of three Spanish boys nearby and they were watching as I asked my b/f to rub some suntan oil on me. He did my back and then I sat between his legs and leaned back against him so he could put his hands around to do my front. I encouraged him to take his time and he massaged oil into my breasts slowly. I had my eyes locked on to the three boys who were watching him stimulate me.

One was rubbing the front of his trunks and he had a big bulge. My boyfriend could see them looking and made a show of stroking my breasts and rubbing around my nipples. I could feel his erection against me and he whispered in my ear that they wanted to fuck me. I got so hot I had a quiet – but long – orgasm just from them seeing me being so aroused.


#30
“He ripped my pants off and fucked me”


I went to a club with three of my girlfriends and met this guy I found incredibly hot. We danced/groped/made out all night until the club closed. My friends and I offered him a ride to his car where we could not keep our hands off each other. With my best friend driving and another one in the front seat, I started to suck his dick.

He couldn’t get enough so he ripped my pants off and started to fuck me right there in the car. I was totally into it and forgot that my friends were there until I accidentally kicked one of them in the face because my foot slipped off the seat. We just finished anyway.

#29
“I was shocked at how arousing I found it”


I was at a party when I was 18. I was too drunk, on the rebound, and my recent ex was telling everyone I was a frigid bitch. One of the other guys paid me loads of attention and told me how great I was and talked me into a bedroom. We ended up having sex on a bed next to a passed-out boy, who halfway through turned out not to be passed out at all, but watching.

I was shocked at how arousing I found it, and my performance got more vocal and wanton through having an audience. I topped it off with my first vaginal orgasm ever, and probably one of the most intense of my life.

#28
“And she got bent over the bottom of the bed”


I went clubbing with my best mate at the time, and afterwards she gave her brother and two of his mates a lift home. We dropped her brother off first and told him that she was staying at mine, then we dropped the first mate off, kept the second, collected another and then snuck back to my mate’s house where they stayed with us in one double bed.

I slept with one of them at the top, and she got bent over the bottom of the bed. In the morning we all slept in and the guys had to sneak out of the house so that her brother (their best mate) didn’t know what had happened! Wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t see the guy out and about all the time…


#27
“I sat down beside her, put my arm around her”


A couple of years ago me and my gay friend Cassie travelled around Europe. One day, we travelled for about 12 hours. We got to our hotel, hung out in the bar and downed a couple of drinks. Afterwards, we went to the room. I felt like I was in need of a serious shower. I got undressed and went straight into the bathroom. Remembering I’d left my shampoo in my bag, I came out and caught my friend sniffing my underwear!

When I asked her what she was doing, she told me she was really horny and missed being with another girl and she just wanted to masturbate. Being pretty boozed up and horny myself, I sat down beside her, put my arm around her and gave her a kiss – first on her forehead, then on her lips. That led to my first lesbian encounter. We lay there kissing each other, fingering ourselves, eating each other out orgasm after orgasm for hours. I never imagined I could feel like that. The rest of the trip we slept together every night. My boyfriend has never known I got to eat out his fantasy girl! I feel like a total slut whenever I even look at the pictures from our trip.

#26
“When we were both naked, he slipped it in”


“I was in the back seat with a friend of my husband (husband driving). His friend kissed me. One thing lead to another until he had his hand in my knickers. My knickers went to my knees as he fingered me. My husband watched in the mirror, then reached back and pulled them off altogether.

His friend undressed me completely. When we were both naked, he slipped it in. My husband drove and watched in the mirror as I had a great orgasm. I still think about it every day.”


#25
“I gave him a blowjob in the bathroom”


“When I was 18, I still lived at home with my parents but had a boyfriend. We had some workmen at the house for a while and I really fancied the younger of the two guys. One day, when I was off from college, the ‘boss’ had to go off for some materials. In no time I found myself kissing the guy I fancied. He got aroused and I gave him a BJ in the bathroom.

One thing I remember was how much bigger his dick was compared to my boyfriend’s. He wanted to take it further but I felt guilty about being unfaithful to my man and doing it in my parents’ bathroom! I ended up splitting up with my boyfriend fairly soon after and wishing I had gone further…”

#24
“I put a cloth over my mouth to stay quiet”


“When I was 21 I was seeing a singer in a band. I was staying at his house and went downstairs at 4am for a drink. I was only wearing a T-shirt and his friend who was also in the band was staying over. He only had on his boxers and his body was incredible. He was real shy but very sweet and funny. “I offered to make him a drink. I was getting horny knowing he was looking at me.

I could see his dick was hard and sticking out of his boxers. He gave me great oral sex and I had to put a dishcloth over my mouth to stay quiet. We had sex on the floor for a long time. I went back up to my boyfriend and didn’t say a thing!”

#23
“I gave him a blow-job and then lay back”


“I went on holiday to Fuerteventura a couple of years ago with another girl. On the third day, we decided to go nude. After an hour I went for a walk and got chatting to three lads, one of whom came for a swim with me. We had bit of a snog in the sea and I briefly stuffed my hand down his swimming trunks. I mentioned to him about the ‘beautiful dunes’ and he suggested we go for a walk.

After we found a quiet spot I gave him a very quick blow-job and then lay back and let him fuck me. Rampant and sweaty in the hot sun. “Afterwards he put his shorts on, and I had to walk back naked with him. We never swapped names and barely spoke after we got out of the sea.”

#22
“Her bloke was standing up, naked and hard”


“Whilst on a night out with the girls we were all talking about our boyfriends and recent experiences. Anyway, my friend Vicky told us about her new bloke and the fact he produced lots when he came. After a few more drinks I told her I’d really like to see him come, as in my personal life I’d never seen a bloke produce more than a dribble. She invited me back to hers later that night, told me to go to the kitchen and wait for her to come and get me.

“She came back and quietly took me to her bedroom where her bloke was blindfolded and standing up, naked and hard. She then proceeded to rub baby oil on his dick and wank him off while I watched. As he got more excited I moved so I was kneeling right in front of him only inches away. Just before he came Vicky took off his blindfold – he looked down to watch himself cover my face in come (tons of the stuff). Vicky then licked off what didn’t go down my throat and I left, only saying goodbye. Still makes me horny now to think about it.”

#21
“He says I’m kinky, but I found it a turn on”


Me and my other half have just returned from Lanzarote. One afternoon, we had both had enough sun and decided to pop back up to the room for a bit of ‘fun’. The chambermaids’ trolleys were still in the corridor, but our room had been made up, although there was still some cleaning gear left in there. We got down to it, and just as I had the condom on him, the door opened and the chambermaid saw both of us in the buff. She jabbered something in Spanish and left much more quickly than she had arrived!

 

While my boyfriend didn’t say much, I found it a huge turn on, and virtually moaned my head off during our session. Then, later on in the week, I managed to arrange for both of us to be in the bathroom with the door shut, only for us to be ‘caught’ again – but by a different chambermaid, this time with him in my mouth. Unfortunately, my man didn’t see the funny side, and that’s where it ended. He says I’m kinky, but I found it a huge turn on…


#20
"We enjoyed some hot pussy-to-pussy wrestling”


My best friend and I are both bi; this younger guy she’s friends with has a little crush on me. He’s a wrestler on the school team, so last year for his 18th birthday, my friend and I decided to give him a nice little surprise present. I told him that if we could borrow his wrestling singlets, we would get into a wrestling match on his bed. He ran to his dresser and threw them at us. We changed into them, went into his bedroom and started a wrestling duel for his birthday honour.

He sat in the corner in his boxers while we faced each other on the bed. Then we started pulling hair, growling and groaning. We entwined our legs right away and enjoyed some hot pussy-to-pussy wrestling as well. I would peek over at the corner where he was sitting and could tell he was getting himself off several times while my friend and I enjoyed our own orgasmic experience.


#19
“We ended up shagging on his balcony”


The best sex I’ve ever had was with a holiday fling that I met on the plane to Hawaii. I managed to resist going at him there and then in the plane toilet – I don’t know how, I just didn’t want to appear too eager. We touched down at midnight in Hawaii, dropped our stuff off at the hostel which, by coincidence, we were both staying at, and went for a walk on the beach. We kissed for hours but, somehow, I still managed to resist getting it on with him.

The next day, he took me out for dinner, and we ended up shagging on his balcony, while a bunch of other backpackers were sleeping inside his room! The next day we got a room straight away, went for breakfast, he bought me a bunch of flowers and some ice-cream and we spent all day shagging. All in all, the perfect holiday.


#18
“I had to go to the loo and bring myself off!”


My boyfriend and I went to a BBQ and did some swimming last weekend. There were two other couples already there who we didn’t know. We ladies decided to sunbathe topless while the guys cooked. It seemed a bit strange, perhaps because we girls were exposed when the guys weren’t. One of the girls decided not replace her top when eating, which I found unusual, but also exciting.

The sight of her dressed in her skirt with her boobs out was so arousing that I had to go to the loo and bring myself off! I knew she’d turned my boyfriend on as well, so later on, I made sure that I got mine. I made him suck my boobs for 20 minutes before I’d let him enter me, too! Naughty boy!


#17
“My tits were jiggling with every pump”


My fiancé and I went on a vacation with his family to the beach. His brother had to share a room with us, and while we were all in the same room together chatting away, under the sheets, I could feel my fiancé getting hard with my butt against his cock. As he was trying to have a conversation with his brother, I gently guided his dick into my pussy.

He slowly pumped as he was chatting away; his brother knew something was up when I started moving quicker and moaning, and he said, “Oh my God! You want me to leave?” But my fiancé was too busy fucking me. My tits were exposed and were jiggling with every pump, right there in front of his brother… So his brother just watched until I came. I got up and took a shower. Embarrassed now, but…

#16
“I pulled his pants down and sank to my knees”


It was warm in the studio, so I removed my sweater and threw it to the side as William began to feel up my breasts. The snapper, G, told us to go over to the other side of the bed near the black curtain. The camera clicked, the flash went off. We’d started. I began to unbutton William’s shirt then reached for his belt – I wanted him naked for the camera. I leaned over and began to suck his nipple as I worked on his pants. I could feel his cock react to my mouth on his nipple.

The flash of light seemed to cause a reaction as we moved along. I took off my shirt and pulled William’s pants down to the floor, then sank to my knees, seeing G out of the corner of my eye as she moved closer to take the photo of William’s cock entering my mouth. Capturing my lover’s cock in my mouth was such an incredible turn on. She snapped away, William pumping his cock into my mouth, as my pussy got wetter and wetter. After a while he reached down into my pants. I was soaking. We worked it, playing with each other and to the camera at the same time. After a while, William said, “Get up and sit on top of me…”

#15
“Being watched was just the thrill I needed”


“I want to screw you on the couch,” I told him, feeling him tense up as I worked his jeans off his hips. I looked at him for just a bit, studying the tattoos he had on his chest and arms, wanting to remember how he looked sitting there waiting for me. I love to screw a man who has nothing on while I’m still fully dressed. He pulled me forward until I had to climb onto the couch, my thighs straddling his. He reached up under my skirt and pulled my panties aside, giving me a little jump-start with his fingers before I sank myself onto him.

I screwed him long and slow, listening as his breathing turned to moans, his hands still on my hips, alternately lifting and lowering me against him, showing me the rhythm to follow. Neither of us heard the front door open when Jason’s roommate came home. I have no idea how long he had been standing there watching us when I noticed his reflection in the window behind the couch. He stood in the doorway between the living room and the kitchen, watching us screw. Jason was concentrating on what I was doing to him, totally unaware of the other situation unfolding.

Being watched was just the thrill I needed. To make it even more exciting I twisted around at the waist and looked into his roommate’s face. I gave him a nasty smile. “I see you!” I thought. “Too bad for you that you have to settle for just watching your roommate get what you’d like to have for yourself.”

#14
“My fingers move to the button of your jeans”


Reaching my office, you gently push me inside. Taking one last look out into the hallway, you close the door behind you and lock it. Our tongues meet as our mouths caress each other. Not being one to pass up a good screw, I wrap my arms around you, pulling you tighter. Your hands waste no time finding the buttons of my blouse. One by one you pop them open taking the time to caress my skin between each. Finally reaching the bottom, you tug my blouse free of my skirt. I let it slide from my shoulders…

You pause to look at me for a moment. Fingers drift over my skin again, finding my breasts. Shivers run through me as they slide inside the cups of my bra. My nipples react, hardening under your touch. Pushing me back against the desk, your hands move to unclip my bra and I let it fall free of my breasts. I hear you groan as you take them into your hands.I press my hand against the hardness under your jeans. I rub, slowly, against the fabric, letting you feel what I want. Your teeth bite and I moan louder.

My fingers move to the button of your jeans. The zipper slides down so easily and my hand slips inside. I take you in my grasp. Stroking slowly, I feel your body move with me. “I want you,” I whisper into your ear as my lips find your neck. “Fuck me.” You pull me up to sit me on the desk. Pushing my skirt up the rest of the way, I pull your cock free. Leaning back and spreading my thighs for you, I wrap my legs around your waist. “Fuck me,” I whisper again…

#13
“I gave him a working over, licking the shaft”


I was an undergraduate and meeting with one of my professors, who I had an insane crush on. He was incredibly worldly, intellectual and appealing, especially to me at 20. While I had flirted with him, and knew friends who had slept with their professors, I never had any sense he wanted me. Until the day I was in his office going over a paper I had turned in. We ended up sitting close, and suddenly he leaned over, took my face in his hands, and kissed me.

I spontaneously fell to my knees in front of him as I caressed his legs and crotch, and then freed his cock from inside his zipper and happily took it in my mouth. I stayed down there as I gave him a major working over, licking the shaft, running my tongue over the head, then taking it all inside my mouth and moving up and down as I sucked with increasing fervour.

While I licked and sucked, I could feel my panties drench. I lost track of time, but soon he was bucking against my face and gasping. Then he grabbed my head and hair as he shot into my young mouth. We met a couple of more times and did some serious screwing. It never turned into much more. But I didn’t care.

#12
“I push my hands upward past her hips”


The soft warmth of her mouth grinds softly against mine and without thinking about it my hand snakes up inside her clothes. I cup one of her breasts and begin to stroke the nipple. Her buttocks begin to push against my crotch and I feel her hand slide downwards. Nadine’s breath comes in coarse pants as she pulls open the belt at her waist and begins to wriggle her shoulders free of her top. My lips suck at her swollen breasts.

I kneel on the sofa before her and with a firm movement open her legs. I bend down and begin to lap roughly at the soft folds. She gasps, though with shock or pleasure I’m not sure. My heart is pounding – the thought of a gentle build up is totally beyond me. I begin to finger her as my tongue flicks against her lips, fucking her with my hand quickly and hard, flexing my fingers slightly as they ease into the core of her wetness. Nadine grinds against me, her hips carving slow crescents against my face and skull.

I lick deeper, more hungrily. I push my hands upward past her hips, upwards and on, and gain new purchases on the hardening centres of her breasts. I knead them without finesse, pinching them and pressing them against my palms. She whimpers as I suck one of her tits, brushing the nipple with my rigid tongue… It’s complicated to have her back, but God it’s good.

#11
“I went down on him, then pulled off my pants”


I hadn’t seen my boyfriend in weeks and his religious parents and large family weren’t helping matters when I came over. To escape from them we went out to Oxford. To tease him I wore my shortest skirt and low-cut top, which I knew turned him on. We hired a boat for the afternoon and as soon as we were out of sight of the families and kids, I pulled his cock out of his trousers and started stroking him as we floated along, stopping every time he got close.

Desperately horny, we pulled into a side stream out of sight where I started going down on him before pulling off my knickers and straddling him. We both came hard and quickly with him rubbing my clit. When we returned the boat half an hour late, the owner innocently asked, “Did you have a good time?”



#10
“I turned over and she worked on my nipples”


I’m in my late twenties and in long-term relationship but always had an idea that I liked women. I wanted to give it a go for a while and yesterday while sat at work (and extremely horny) I decided to find an escort. After going home and looking through a load of profiles online, I found two that did visits together. One was blonde, one was Spanish-looking and both were my age. I phoned them up and booked them for an hour. I settled my nerves with some vodka, put on some sexy knickers and waited.

When they arrived it wasn’t awkward, more like meeting two old friends. We chatted for a while and then one of them gave the other a naked rub-down while I watched. I joined in and eventually they just massaged me, then I turned over and one worked on my nipples. It was lovely feeling her hair sweeping over my body – I was so turned on.

The other girl worked on my legs and spread my legs to work on my inner thighs. I felt a tongue going deep into me and stifled a scream. It was so sexy to have two ladies working on bringing me off. Just as I was about to come, one girl straddled my face. Hearing her moan made me grind down on the other girl more and more till I orgasmed like never before. It was enjoyment right from the minute they walked in and more sensual than any man has ever been…

#9
“I massaged my pussy through satin panties”


The strangest place I ever masturbated was in the first class section of a 737. I was working on a proposal and kept noticing the cabin attendant as she bent over to serve me drinks. Her blouse was open and I had a wonderful view of her lace-covered breasts. Seeing these, I started getting hot. I squirmed in my seat, reached back and unzipped my skirt.

I managed to slip my hand in the front and started to massage my pussy through my satin panties. They soon got very wet so I slid them aside and went to work on my clit and had a great orgasm. No one noticed because I had the tray down and my computer was on the tray. When I calmed down, I went to the bathroom, took off my soaking wet panties and stuck them in my purse. For the rest of the day, I could feel the fabric of my skirt caress my ass when I walked. That was a turn-on as well because it was a reminder of what really was under my skirt.

#8
“A minute later I was on top riding him hard”


After an argument (over some teabags, of all things) I stormed out of my boyfriend’s house. He came after me in his car a few minutes later and I realised how stupid I was being and got in. We drove on for a bit, not really saying much. By this point we’d got into a quiet area and I was still a bit angry.

As we pulled up, I kissed him really hard, then ripped his shirt open. A minute later I was on top, and rode him so hard and fast. No one was around, so we went at it for ages as it was such a turn on, knowing people might see. I would recommend it to anyone, although the back seat is best with the woman on top… Jeez, I’m horny now just thinking about it!

#7
“It was the sexiest HJ I’ve ever performed!”


I’m a huge fan of giving my boyfriend hand-jobs – I love the fact I’m in total control whilst I’m doing it. The other night I teased him; a little way through I stopped and was more gentle and then slowly poured baby oil over him (it’s magic stuff in these situations). The more I poured, the more slippery his cock became as I carried on stroking as slowly as I could.

The more he begged me, the more I slowed down until eventually he came and I continued to masturbate him a little longer – ensuring all of it came out! I couldn’t believe how wet I became when I watched him come. It was the sexiest HJ I’ve ever performed!

#6
"I noticed him getting bigger in his pants"


I studied sports massage and was recently asked to help out at a rugby club. One of their hot players came in with a groin injury, stripped down to his underwear and laid on the table so I could start working on his injury. We became friendly over the week and each day I would give his groin muscle a good working over and couldn’t stop thinking about him. Then one day he came in just as I was about to go home and asked if I could give him a quick rub as he was playing an important match the next day.

As I massaged, I noticed him getting bigger in his pants. Watching him ‘grow’ I knew I had to have him. So I began to rub his manhood, pulled down his pants and jerked him off. It didn’t take him long to say he was about to blow his load and so I leaned over and took his giant cock in my mouth. I could tell he hadn’t come for ages as he had a massive load that almost made me gag, but he tasted good and we both got what we wanted. The next day he scored the winning try…

#5
"As I took my top off, one of the girls came over"


About 20 of us had gone away for the weekend, but only six of us stayed in on the Saturday night. I went to the dorm to get ready for bed and passed the drying room. I heard noises coming from inside, so I opened the door and had a peek in to find two girls at it.

I went in and locked the door behind me without saying anything. As I took my top off, one of the girls came over and started taking down my trousers. She started to suck on my breasts as the other began kissing me. The girl who was sucking my breasts put a hand on my pussy and started rubbing it. As she started to push her fingers inside me, I stopped kissing the other girl and started to rub her pussy. I started to moan with pleasure. The girl who was finger-fucking me pushed my legs further apart and started to lick my pussy. I was coming hard, and very loudly.

We must have been in the room about an hour, when there was a knock. A voice asked who was in the room and what were we up to? We were too embarrassed to answer so waited until the coast was clear before silently slipping out…

#4
“Her mother was on the bed playing with herself”


I went to a rather posh girls school and was spending the weekend at the home of one of my classmates. We were supposedly helping each other with revision for our A-Levels but were mainly listening to records and messing around. Her family were much better off than mine and lived in a big house a few miles outside town. I had my own room on the second floor and Kathy was on the floor below.

We spent the first evening in her room ‘revising’ before I went upstairs to my room to sleep. The next morning I got up and, having washed and dressed, I decided to head downstairs to Kathy’s room to see what the plan was for the day. Reaching her floor I realised that I wasn’t sure which of the many doors was actually the door to her room. After carefully opening the door to a linen closet and a bathroom I timidly pushed open the door I was now certain was Kathy’s.

I found myself looking into a large bedroom, which obviously wasn’t hers. I knew this not just because it didn’t have all her schoolgirl clutter strewn about, but also because her mother was lying on the bed moaning with pleasure as she played with herself. I was too shocked to move – and was also suddenly very aroused. Her mother, Angela, was on top of the bedspread and was wearing a deep blue silk nightdress, open at the waist. One hand was pressing the material between her wide-apart legs and the other was massaging her rather splendid breasts through the silk.

I stood there, taking it all in, furiously rubbing myself between my legs wishing I hadn’t put these thick jeans on as Angela began to moan and squirm. A few seconds later, she brought herself to a very strong climax.

As she slowed down and subsided I backed out of the doorway on tiptoe and pulled the door shut as quietly as I could before rushing into the bathroom a couple of doors away, pulling down my trousers and bringing myself to a climax with a few strokes of my soaking wet pussy.

#3
"He must have been taking sperm enhancer"


I just got back from a two-week seminar in Germany, missing my boyfriend. When I got back he said that all he wanted to do was have sex, and that he hadn’t ejaculated for the entire time I was away. I have a thing about huge ‘loads’ anyway so I was hoping to be impressed.

I started to wank him off as soon as we were in through the door and in less than a minute I could feel him tensing up under my hand. I’m sure he must have been taking some kind of sperm enhancer, because the load was absolutely enormous! His dick kept twitching in my hand, spurting more each time. He made a huge mess, not just on me, but all over the bedsheets, and even on our bedroom wall. I didn’t care about that though: I’d just witnessed the greatest display of male virility EVER.

#2
"Her knees were bent spraying water at her pussy"


My friend had come to my house to get ready for a party and went to have a shower. I had one of those showers that has about six settings, from spray to jet, and I showed her how to use it. She was ages and I could hear the water was coming out in a jet and thought that she couldn’t work it. I knocked but heard no answer, so I peeped round the door.

I could just see through the misted-up glass panel that she had her knees bent and open and was aiming the water at her pussy, holding onto the wall with her other hand. I watched her for as long as I could, then got scared that she’d spot me! I went out really quietly and thought about if I could say anything because it had turned me on. In the event I bottled it and just asked her if she had enjoyed her shower

#1
“I tied him up, climbed on and shagged him silly"


I booked a hotel room and asked my man to meet me in the bar after he finished work. I got there before him, dressed in the works: stockings, red knickers and bra, a satin dress and a scarf around my neck. A dark wig finished the outfit off and I went to sit at the bar. He came into the bar and didn’t recognise me at first but when I spoke to the barman he heard me and got the hint.

We chatted like strangers and had a few drinks, before I offered him a nightcap in my room. Once we were up there, I took over, tied him to the bed, climbed on top and tried to shag him silly. But it didn’t work as he persuaded me to let him loose. Big mistake! I ended up tied up with my own stockings and gagged with my scarf. The next two hours I was licked and fucked like never before. The change really worked for both of us…

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Celebrity Nipple Piercings








15 Kinds of Seductive Poses That Just Aren’t Fair

I’m a sucker for a good camera pose by a very attractive girl. The question is are these poses deliberate? The answer is a very clear cut “it doesn’t matter.” Because whether a girl is trying to seduce you with her photo or is simply having fun makes no difference.

The point is that a pose is in fact made, and that pose will in fact elicit a response. Generally my response is to salivate and be annoyed that the girl in the picture isn’t in the room with me at that very moment.

Nevertheless I, you, all of us will keep looking at these pictures until the day we die.

Here are 15 seductive poses that just aren’t fair.


Oh yeah, none of these are “real” poses and I don’t even care. It was just an excuse to put up more hot chicks.




The Blata

nt Ass Mirror Pose

The Blatant Ass Mirror Pose
The “Hottest Four Girls You Don’t Know Together” Pose 
The “Almost but Not Quite” Pose 

 The “Do whatever you want” Pose


The Upside Down Pose 


The “Want me to let go?” Pose


The “We Have no Clue How fat we’ll be in five years” Pose 


The Happy Shower Pose 


The Hottest Girl in the Universe Pose 


The “Yup, You know what I’m capable of” Pose


The Upskirt Drunk Friend Pose 



The Fake Lesbian Pose 

The In Shape Booty Pose 



The Myspace Pose

Friday, April 24, 2009

Sexy Self-Shot Myspace Mirror Girls

















20 Hottest Sex Scenes of All Time

There's a lot to be said for watching a movie on the big screen — the hum of the projector, the collective experience of being in an audience, the sticky floors — but there are also certain films best enjoyed in the privacy of one's own home. Films that require freeze frames, slow-motion, repeat performances or some carefully calibrated combination of the three. Premiere has cherry-picked 20 provocative movies for your home-viewing pleasure, highlighting each one's most titillating sex scene.


Y Tu Mamá También (2001)
 

Directed by: Alfonso Cuarón
Starring: Ana López Mercado, Diego Luna, Gael García Bernal

"Here's to life and love and sex!" toasts Ana (Ana López Mercado) to the two lovable, hormonally overwrought teen knuckleheads she's taken under her wing on an impromptu road trip through Mexico. The boys, played by Diego Luna and Gael García Bernal, can scarcely believe their luck -- that a beautiful older woman has chosen to school them in those three subjects, particularly the third. But an evening that begins with a booze-fueled roadhouse session ends in a very adventurous motel ménage à tequila -- right before the movie reveals Ana's tragic secret.


Belle de Jour (1967)
 

Directed by: Luis Buñuel
Starring: Catherine Deneuve, Jean Sorel, Michel Piccoli, Geneviève Page, Pierre Clémenti

Séverine, a gorgeous, chilly upper-class housewife compelled to while away her afternoons working in a brothel, has yet to truly throw herself into her work. Then along comes a stocky Asian fellow who's got a little box, and a little thing inside it that buzzes like a bee. All the other girls have a look in the box and back away... but Séverine, played to perfection by the ineffable Catherine Deneuve, decides to give it a go, and in the aftermath, we see she's been well and truly turned-out. Nothing explicit here -- we never see what's in the box, for one thing -- but proof positive that the imagination is the most potent erogenous zone.


 Betty Blue (1986)
 

Directed by: Jean-Jacques Beineix
Starring: Béatrice Dalle, Jean-Hugues Anglade

Even the most hot-to-trot movies generally make the viewer wait before unveiling any erotic action, but not this crazily emotional romance, whose opening shot tracks in on title character Betty (a near-feral Béatrice Dalle) and her amiable paramour Zorg (Jean-Hugues Anglade) whiling away a summer afternoon, rutting like maniacs. Their fierce bond is immediately established... and to this day, even the most disinterested of viewers may wonder whether the two performers were at it for real, such is the verisimilitude of their thrusts and cries.



A History of Violence
 

Directed by: David Cronenberg
Starring: Viggo Mortensen, Maria Bello

Decent family people can have hot sex lives too, as the early-on coupling of Tom and Edie Stall (Viggo Mortensen and Maria Bello) in this film demonstrates. Of course it helps that Edie's put on her old cheerleader getup for this particular occasion. "Holy... cow!" Tom exclaims. Later, when Tom's secret past is revealed, the emotions that come to the fore aren't nearly as pleasant, and the resultant sex-on-the-staircase remains one of this powerful film's most controversial and challenging scenes.


The Unbearable Lightness of Being (1988)
 

Directed by: Philip Kaufman
Starring: Juliette Binoche, Lena Olin, Daniel Day-Lewis

Shy Tereza (Juliette Binoche) and sassy Sabina (Lena Olin) both love the rakish Tomas (Daniel Day-Lewis) in a story set against the historical turmoil of Soviet-era Czechoslovakia. Politics gets put aside for an intense encounter between the two women; shutterbug Tereza asks Sabina to pose for a nude photo session, which the latter does with ease; then, though, Sabina turns the tables on Tereza and persuades her to strip down. Their erotic rivalry metamorphoses into an erotic affinity in a scene of breathtaking intimacy.



Monster's Ball (2001)
 

Directed by: Marc Forster
Starring: Halle Berry, Billy Bob Thornton

"Make me feel good," the long-suffering Leticia (Halle Berry) begs prison guard Hank (Billy Bob Thornton), who, among other things, presided over her husband's execution. The line has been frequently lampooned, but seen away from the glare of its initial hype and Berry's Oscar, her plaint has a raw reality. And the ensuing sex scene is one of the frankest explorations of lovemaking as catharsis the screen has ever seen


Little Children (2006)
 

Directed by: Todd Field
Starring: Kate Winslet, Patrick Wilson

It's always a beautiful thing when misfits in suburbia find each other. Sad-sack househusband Brad (Patrick Wilson) kisses dissatisfied, arty Sarah (Kate Winslet) on a dare at the playground -- in front of the titular kids, even. Soon they're inseparable, even as they try to control their baser instincts. But one laundry session, it all comes apart, and they're going at it on the dryer. Gives a whole new meaning to the "extract" cycle.


Secretary (2002)
 

Directed by: Steven Shainberg
Starring: Maggie Gyllenhaal, James Spader 

The entirety of this BDSM rom-com is one big teasing mindfuck until the last scene, which doesn't show any explicit sex but still offers the viewer a stingingly-sweet climax. After many flashes of leg and bum, spankings, crawling on hands and knees, and ornate equipment including a saddle, Maggie Gyllenhaal's titular secretary finally gets some TLC from her boss, the equally tormented James Spader. He gently unbuttons the wedding dress she's wearing (long story, but it will definitely have to be dry-cleaned before it's returned to her former fiancée's mother), bathes her and then lays her down on a bed of grass, surrounded by his precious orchids. (Seriously, there are more yonic flowers in this movie than at a Georgia O'Keefe exhibit.) Gyllenhaal's total openness in this scene -- her lolling head while she's being shampooed, her proud, comfortable nudity, the voiceover where she describes how "for the first time in my life, I felt beautiful" -- and Spader's tenderness is what makes this so hot.



Angel Heart (1987)
 

Directed by: Alan Parker
Starring: Mickey Rourke, Lisa Bonet

This super-creepy horror movie is infamous for its sex scene involving a pre-plastic surgery Mickey Rourke, Cosby kid Lisa Bonet, and buckets of fake chicken blood. The oh-so-nearly X-rated Angel Heart is why unrated DVDs were invented. The plot twist at the end will make you feel totally dirty (and not necessarily in a good way) long after the credits roll. There's no proof that Bonet's role as Epiphany Proudfoot got her kicked out of the Huxtable household, but later that year she flew the coop and landed on her own, Cos-approved show A Different World.


Blow Up (1966)
 

Directed by: Michelangelo Antonioni
Starring: David Hemmings, Veruschka

As a metaphor, perhaps it's a bit hackneyed, but as erotic moviemaking, it's still incomparably cool and fresh. Slim David Hemmings, as a photographer who can't get no satisfaction even in Swinging Sixties London, is doing a standard-issue fashion shoot with stick-figure-thin supermodel Veruschka (as herself, of course). Bored to distraction with the standard camera-on-a-tripod setup, he goes handheld, and soon he's straddling her as she writhes underneath him, his directions growing more explicit, her hauteur melting into something both feral and languid, his shouts metamorphosing into orgasmic moans of ecstasy. When it's over, the two recoil from each other, instantly donning a cloak of ennui that could just as well be revulsion. Just like all couples do after sex.



 Some Like It Hot (1959)
 

Directed by: Billy Wilder
Starring: Tony Curtis, Marilyn Monroe

He disguised himself as a woman in order to escape from killer mobsters. But Tony Curtis soon finds good reason to go back to being male -- he re-disguises himself as the heir to the Shell Oil fortune, the better to impress his gold-digging (or so he thinks) new colleague Sugar Kane (the luscious Marilyn Monroe). And then he pretends to be impotent -- the better to maneuver her into seducing him while he's got her on "his" yacht. (Long story.) Her efforts and his resistance, intercut with real millionaire Joe E. Brown's attempts to melt down a still-in-drag Jack Lemmon, not only steam up the screen (as well as Curtis's glasses), they prove that sex really is comedy. (And by the way, the heat wasn't all movie magic; describing the shooting of that scene to Premiere in 2001, Tony Curtis recalled, "[Marilyn] liked to lie on me and grind. And as soon as she knew she'd aroused me, she'd look down on me as if to say, 'There you are, you naughty boy.' And I loved it.")


Last Tango in Paris (1973)
 

Directed by: Bernardo Bertolucci
Starring: Marlon Brando, Maria Schneider

"Maybe we can come without touching." Oy, these kids with their wacky idealism. Marlon Brando's Paul makes very down-to-earth requests of Maria Schneider's Jeanne, e.g., "Get the butter." But the gamine is the one who comes up with the truly crazy idea. Brando's character is game -- more pliable than he will be in later, more explicit moments, when Paul tries to dominate the young stranger he has seduced, and later still, when the poor fool has fallen in love with her. But at this moment -- with the two of them facing each other, naked, bathed in improbably warm Parisian sunlight -- one can almost believe in the no-names-please sexual utopia that these two erotic desperados are trying to build. We know that the actors are faking it when they make it "come" "true." But are the characters faking it? We don't know, which is one reason we keep coming back to this ever-provocative film.




8. ...And God Created Woman (1956)
 

Directed by: Roger Vadim
Starring: Brigitte Bardot

It must have been an unbelievable sight in 1956 to see Brigitte Bardot in Cinema-Scope, nude from head (right side of screen) to toe (left side), sunning herself on her stomach behind a clothesline-held sheet. Such is the sex kitten's introduction in Roger Vadim's she-ain't-no-delinquent-she's-misunderstood melodrama, which is basically a string of scenes in which various suddenly-highly-focused men lose their wits (such as they are) over her. Here it's stiff bourgeois businessman Curd Jurgens, flirtatiously mocking the seemingly materialistic young Bardot with a model of a sports car and not even pretending to do the gentlemanly thing and avert his eyes as she stands to receive his "gift." He thinks he's suave, we think he's a drip, and she flatters us by letting us think she's leaning toward our side. Just as we ourselves are losing our wits, along comes Bardot's guardian (the poor coquette's an orphan) to call her a slut. Buzzkill? Yeah -- the whole movie's like that. It was 1956, after all.


Body Heat (1981)
 

Directed by: Lawrence Kasdan
Starring: William Hurt, Kathleen Turner

Dopey but attractively trim lawyer Ned Racine (William Hurt), who's obviously never seen Double Indemnity, has been going at it with Matty Walker (Kathleen Turner), the coolly elegant trophy wife of a local big shot, for at least a little while before we get to this brief bit. But what happens here is obviously the deal clincher -- that is, there's no way he's going to say no to helping her out with killing her husband after this. The shot begins with the camera lingering on an overflowing ashtray; we hear box springs being tested and breath running out. The camera moves up, and there's Matty, on her stomach, face turned to the camera. The first word she says -- and she's barely able to speak at this point -- is "Don't." The second word, which takes what seems like an eternity to spill out, is "Stop." Do we have to spell it out for you? The following shot of the couple in an ice-filled bathtub could fill in the blanks for those who don't get it. Strangely, every subsequent film directed by Kasdan seemed to deny that this, or really any other, kind of sex actually existed.


 Vixen (1968)
 

Directed by: Russ Meyer
Starring: Erica Gavin, Jon Evans

The title character (played by pneumatic, weirdly eyebrowed Erica Gavin), called "Vix" by her biker brother Jud, is a tightly wound coil of sexual tension who can't seem to let go of her disagreeability even as those around her indulge her every whim. Her hubby's laissez-faire for the most part, the attractive guests at their lodge make willing partners, but Vixen just bitches and lashes out at everybody regardless. She saves much of her wrath for her brother and his black comrade, who have biked over into their Canadian lair to avoid the draft. Constantly baiting Jud and calling his pal "Sambo," she's really asking for it, or so the conventional wisdom holds. Turns out she really is asking for it; one day while Jud is showering, she walks in, stark naked, and asks him to soap her back. He balks, and balks and balks, and she taunts him into letting her have it, right there in the shower stall. "Come on, baby brother!" For a minute we forget these are actors, and the sense of transgression is palpable; it's one of the most unpleasant turn-ons out there, all the more of a turn-on for being so unpleasant. Avoid this movie, unless you're some kind of total perv.


The Hunger (1983)
 

Directed by: Tony Scott
Starring: Catherine Deneuve, Susan Sarandon

This was director Tony Scott's first feature; hence, his directorial tics/tricks that have since come to tire us were forgivable, even exciting. That overhead shot of a too-juicy steak presented after an episode of vampiric enthusiasm seemed not just funny and startling but actually interesting. Ah, how naive we were, and how generous -- the guy whose inchoate "touch" we appreciated turned out to be a genuine menace, no? Still, this scene, in which a centuries-old vampire played by Catherine Deneuve defeats the scruples of a reluctant would-be disciple (Susan Sarandon), needs zero special pleading. It's a favorite bit of homoerotica for straight men, true, but gay women also find it moltenly hot -- if you ever run into one who denies it's a turn-on, just get a couple of drinks into her and ask her again.


 Mulholland Dr. (2001)
 

Directed by: David Lynch
Starring: Naomi Watts, Laura Elena Harring

One could watch this scene a thousand times (no wisecracks, please) and still not be able to pinpoint who initiates its amorous component. After, um, Betty (Naomi Watts) helps, um, Rita (Laura Elena Harring) devise a -- gee, is it her third? -- persona by putting a silvery-blond wig on her, the duo's rompings as would-be girl detectives turn even more strangely desperate, and poignant, and the pair find themselves achingly alone, and achingly, well, horny. After a good-night kiss turns passionate, Betty asks Rita, "Have you ever done this before?" prompting the amnesiac's classic response: "I don't know. Have you?" Betty says, "I want to... with you," and all abandon is abandoned. The ensuing love scene is one glimpse of heaven before the two descend into a distinctly Lynchian hell. And to think this scene would have never been shot had ABC accepted Lynch's pilot for the proposed Mulholland Dr. series...


Walkabout (1971)
 

Directed by: Nicolas Roeg
Starring: Jenny Agutter, Lucien John

A more pedestrian director would have constructed the scene thusly: Teen girl swims nude in a lush outback pond when the teen aborigine who is escorting her and her brother spies her, and is transfixed with primordial lust. But since Walkabout was directed by the very not-pedestrian Nicolas Roeg, the scene unfolds quite differently. The girl, graceful Jenny Agutter, swims, observed by her brother (the angelic Lucien John, Roeg's son), who then goes off to join the aborigine, who is hunting for food. Roeg intercuts the tranquil views of innocent eros with blunt moments of spearing and hacking; the aborigine and the girl never appear in the same shot in this sequence, but it's here that we learn that she's gotten into his blood, fatally.


Sex and Lucía (2001)
 

Directed by: Julio Medem
Starring: Paz Vega, Tristán Ulloa

Sad but true: One of the most effective ways of insuring a hot sex life is to... well, is to be pretty damn hot yourself. That's a crass generalization, granted, but it's one that's harder to deny once you've checked out this film -- which actually posits that hotness doesn't necessarily guarantee lasting happiness. In a story line that must flatter the vanity of every writer, would-be or otherwise, the title Lucía -- Paz Vega, who must represent some sort of Platonic ideal of sexuality -- semistalks novelist Lorenzo (Tristán Ulloa, who isn't bad-looking himself) and, once she's able to have a conversation with him, convinces him that she should move in with him. Yeah, in my dreams, too. This particular sequence -- to my mind a lot more moving than the Hollywood-processed-cheese striptease of 9 1/2 Weeks -- represents the height of their domestic bliss. The knotty structure of Medem's film lets you know right off the bat that both of them pay a price for their fun. But this scene convinces you that it's worth it.

 Five Sex-tras SILENT BUT HOT: Louise Brooks i...
 

Five Sex-tras 
SILENT BUT HOT: Louise Brooks in 1929's Pandora's Box
STUPID BUT HOT: Jane Fonda's writhings under the opening credits of Barbarella
HOT DESPITE HAVING THE VOICE OF LOUISE LASSER: Akiko Wakabayashi in What's Up Tiger Lily
HOT IN A BORED, GERMANIC, "I'D-JUST-AS-SOON-NAP" WAY: Hanna Schygulla in Beware of a Holy Whore
HOMICIDALLY HOT: Peggy Cummins in Gun Crazy

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Wild Girls






















It feels like Summer

To day it New York it is in the mid 70’s and the feeling of what is to come this summer is in the air. I felt I needed to really bring that feeling into something a bit more visual so I bring you some lovely hot ladies in bikinis. For those of you asking if it is that nice why are you inside? Well it no one is out by the pool since it isn’t open yet and on top of that the Celtics and Rangers are in the playoffs with games on TV right now!




















Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Sweet Ass
























Party Pics of Playboy’s Top 10 Party Schools - 2009

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s official - Playboy has released their list of the best party schools of 2009. And we have to say, this year, they’ve definitely outdone themselves with some of the most party-licious, skin-tastic school in the country making their Top 10. But instead of making you just take our word for it, we’ve compiled party pictures from the Top 10 Party Schools, so you can see what exactly you’ve been missing. 


University of Miami



If you’ve ever been to Miami, then it’s no surprise that the University of Miami tops the list of best party schools. First of all, there’s barely any reason to wear clothes, ever, which results in more hot college chicks strutting around in bikinis than any other university. It also means you can easily party all year long. Add in the good sports, great sex and a solid education into the equation and you’re left with the hottest party school on the planet.




 University of Texas



Deep in the heart of Texas. I’ll tell ya where I’d like to be “deep in”… a party at UT Austin. Their girls are consistently ranked as the hottest in the nation. You can get a burrito the size of a whale’s penis for less than a four-inch hot dog at Shea and well drink specials normally run about $0.25 a cup. Hot girls + Good Cheap Food + Discounted Liquor. Yeah, that doesn’t add up to mustard-covered threesomes on a mechanical bull.



San Diego State University


Coming in at number three, San Diego State University has all the right ingredients for a great party school: warm weather, hot girls and nearby legal medical marijuana dispensaries. But unless you’re planning on transferring, beware - this place is so sweet, it could suck you in and you’ll never come back. Not that that’s a bad thing…



 University of Florida


Everybody knows Gators fans know how to celebrate a win like champs - and by that we mean they go F’ing crazy and drink their asses off. Which, when you’re being judged for your partying prowess is kind of like being born with an IQ of 185, except instead of intellectual power its how many beers you can down before passing out in a trash can.



University of Arizona



Even if everything else about the University of Arizona sucked, this school would still make our list for one reason and one reason only - the girls. For whatever reason, UA attracts the absolute hottest girls from around the country. But the thing is, everything else doesn’t suck. In fact, it’s almost too good to be true.



 University of Wisconsin – Madison

Previously ranked Playboy’s #1 party school in the country, University of Wisconsin-Madison still holds its own as one of the best places to find yourself 10 beers deep. With smart and sexy girls, super cold beer and rabid football fans, there’s really no way to lose.



University of Georgia


According to Playboy, the University of Georgia has, hands down, the hottest sorority girls on the planet. Add to that a ton of great bars and you’ve got yourself one of the countries best party schools. Because really, what else do you need?




 Louisiana State University


Long known as a huge party school, LSU does a fantastic job of combining lots of sports fans with lots and lots of liquor to create the perfect storm of sweet Southern partying. Not to mention a swath of super hotties running around all over the place, which certainly helps matters immensely.



University of Iowa



No school does tailgating better than the University of Iowa. With tons of booze-hungry party-goers, hundreds of gallons of beer and the Magic School Bus, which is actually two school buses, one with a stage for live bands on top and another filled endless amounts of kegs. Who needs the game when you’ve got that?



West Virginia University
 
West Virginia normally gets a pretty bad rap - and it’s usually 100-percent deserved. So it’s nice to see West Virginia University finally getting some praise where it really matters - partying. Needless to say, drinking and football are a big deal in at this school. And WVU combine both for a binge-y good time.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Smokin’ Hot Girls Smokin’ Pot



























Sunday, April 19, 2009

Tribute to the Glorious Underboob






















8 Classic ’70s Porn Queens


Marilyn Chambers
Seminal ’70s Movie: Behind the Green Door (1972)


Vanessa Del Rio
Seminal ’70s Movie: Babylon Pink (1979)


Annette Haven
Seminal ’70s Movie: Barbara Broadcast (1977)


Samantha Fox
Seminal ’70s Movie: Her Name Was Lisa (1979)


Dorothy LeMay
Seminal ’70s Movie: Formal Faucett (1978)

Seka
Seminal ’70s Movie: Lust at First Bite (1978)


Nancy Suiter 
Seminal ’70s Movie: 800 Fantasy Lane (1979)



Sharon Thorpe
Seminal ’70s Movie: Sex World (1978)

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Top 15 Bathroom Scenes in Movies

Top 15 Bathroom Scenes in Movies

1. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery 



3. Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo 



 

4. Dumb & Dumber 



 

5. White Chicks 



6. There's Something About Mary 




7. The Royal Tenenbaums 




8. The Rules of Attraction 



 

9. Pulp Fiction 



 

10. The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squa... 



 

11. American History X 





12. Psycho 




13. Full Metal Jacket 



 

14. Trainspotting

Somali Pirates Ain’t Got Nothin’ On This Booty [Gallery]

































Friday, April 17, 2009

The 10 Hottest Bikini Movie Moments Of All Time

We're just starting to see a hint of summer weather across much of the US, so it seems like a good time to start thinking about bikinis. We started thinking about some of the most classic bikini moments in history, and quickly realized most of them were actually cinematic moments. 

We came up with as many great bikini moments as we could think of, cut the list down to ten and ranked them. We think we've got a pretty nice and representative selection here, from classic moments, to more modern interpretations .Take a look.


Ursula Andress in Dr No




Ursula Andress as Honey Ryder, in one of the most iconic Bond girl get ups of all time. This classic ensemble was recreated by Halle Berry in the 2002 Bond flick Die Another Day, but Halle doesn't hold a candle to the original. Andress is built like a Greek goddess, a body style you don't see depicted too often these days in Hollywood.


Angelina Jolie in Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life.



You can generally tell a movie is going to suck when it's based on a video game character, and this one certainly did, but it did have some upside in that spending a couple of hours staring at Angelina Jolie is never a bad way to pass the time. At least Angelina Jolie circa 2003 (when this was released), she's gotten a little frightening looking of late. Jolie fills out her bikini like no other, and that's good enough for ninth on our list.


Jessica Alba in Into The Blue



Here's another forgettable movie made memorable by a bikini wearing starlet. Jessica Alba hasn't done much to establish herself as an actress, but if she'd stick to movies like Into The Blue she'd be fine. Let's just say beach movies are right in her wheelhouse.


Salma Hayek in From Dusk Till Dawn



From Dusk Till Dawn features one of the most abrupt genre shifts in movie history, going from a crime drama about crooks on the run to an action movie with vampires. And the transition happens during one glorious strip tease by a bikini wearing Salma Hayek at the absolute peak of her hotness.



 Brooke Shields in Blue Lagoon



It's kind of funny to think now that she's older and kind of out of the limelight a lot more (I don't think anyone actually watched Lipstick Jungle), but Brooke Shields was a controversy machine at the beginning of her career. From going bare in her Calvin Klein jeans to her scandalous role in Blue Lagoon, Shields was at the center of a lot of controversy concerning how young was too young to be viewed sexually. Of course it's an endless debate, with modern day parallels galore (think Miley Cyrus and her scandalous Myspace pictures, or a 16 year old Vanessa Hudgens having nude photos leaked). Bottom line though, Brooke Shields was ridiculously hot in her tattered swimwear in Blue Lagoon.


Brigitte Bardot in And God Created Woman




See, good things do come from France. Brigitte Bardot created a sensation with her role in And God Created Woman, simultaneously launching her "sex kitten" persona into the stratosphere of fame while also creating a bikini craze. What had previously not been a mainstream item of clothing soon started showing up at beaches around the world, meaning we owe a lot of gratitude to Ms. Bardot.


Raquel Welch in One Million Years B.C.



Raquel Welch still looks good today, and she's almost 70. So to say she was a stunner in her prime is an understatement. One Million Years B.C. features Welch running around in a period costume similar to what cavewomen of the time actually wore. You know, torn up garments featuring copious amounts of cleavage and bare midriffs. Cavewomen were apparently pretty hot.


Ali Larter in Varsity Blues



Varsity Blues was a nice little underrated high school sports movie, but features one scene that really defies all belief. Ali Larter propositions James Van Der Beek wearing only a whipped cream bikini, and ... he turns her down. She even had cherries. I don't think there's a high school aged male alive that would leave that room in that situation. This might actually be the most unrealistic scene in movie history, and if it's not it's up there. Highlight of Ali Larter's career though.


Phoebe Cates in Fast Times At Ridgemont High



ESPN columnist Bill Simmons recently answered a fan question asking:

This prompted us to realize Winslet's breasts were the first that both of us had seen. We also realized this was true for tons of guys born in the mid- to late-'80s (making them 12 or younger when they saw "Titanic"). She has to hold the record for the actress claimed as "the first one" by the most guys. What lucky movie star holds the title for you?

For Simmons it was Tommy Hanrahan's ex-wife in "Slap Shot", and while I think Winslet also is going to hold the title for a lot of guys the all time title might have to go to Phoebe Cates in Fast Times At Ridgemont High. Her red bikini is easily one of the most memorable of all time, plus this scene gets lots of bonus points for the top eventually coming off.



Carrie Fischer in Return of the Jedi



What else is there to be said about this iconic movie moment that hasn't already been said? Fischer's gold metal bikini was a formative experience for millions of guys heading into adolescence, and it's still a geek cultural milestone.

I think if you walked up to ten random guys and asked them their favorite bikini movie moment of all time Princess Leia in the gold bikini would come up at least eight or nine times. 

The 5 Creepiest Animal Sex Toys

It’s no secret - when it comes to sex in the animal kingdom, people take the cake for kinkiest, most f**ked-up creatures of the whole bunch. In fact, we’re so messed up, we can’t even stick to having sex with the same species, some of the time. Not only that, but sometimes we even have sex with fake animals. But these 5 sex toys have to be the creepiest sex toys that involve animals or animal body parts (this side of Japan, anyway). 



Cathy the Mooing Cow

Ok, here’s the story, this inflatable cow sex toy makes a mooing sound when it’s excited. You’ll never drink a glass of milk in the same way again. Comes complete with lube. (You’ll need it…)


The Wallaby

G’day mate, indeed! OK, image if you sexual fetish was to be man-handled by a lovable Australian wallaby. Well, a wallaby dildo would be the perfect substitute for the real thing! One of the selling features, says the site, is that it has a “very prominent ballsack.” 


Erotic Blowup Piggie

Is there any other kind of a blowup piggie than an erotic one? The box says its perfect for “backyard bashes.” What a perfect way to relive again, and again, and again, your favorite scene from Deliverance. 


Drippy Dragon

Even stranger than having sex with a simulated animal, is having sex with a simulated mythical creature that shoots an artificial polymer spooge. Not only that, the Drippy Dragon is guaranteed for 25 years and is designed to last—this will be the only Drippy Dragon you will need for life!



Dolphin Sex Toy

They say the dolphin is the smartest creature next to man. Well, man is sooooo smart that some of his species actually constructs the sexual organs of the second smartest creature on Earth. You will never watch the movie Flipper in the same way again.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Fashion Disasters 14 Worst Dressed Celebrities

Since the dawn of celebrity, fame and fashion have gone hand-in-hand. Musicians, actors, and artists of all kinds dream of walking down the red carpet to the flash of paparazzi cameras and adulation from their peers - all the while looking as glamorous as possible. And from the Academy Awards, to the Grammys, to the millions of openings, parties, and events happening year-round in Hollywood, everyone aims to look their best. However, sometimes there are these famous individuals that either never quite figure out how to dress, or end up trying too hard and failing miserably. The following 14 examples of how badly celebrities have messed their images up.


CHER

In the mid-1980s, there were very few pop stars bigger than Cher. Having successfully resuscitated her singing career, Cher cut her acting teeth with critically acclaimed roles in Moonstruck, and The Mask among others. She ultimately won an Academy Award for her role in the former. But, at the 1986 Academy Awards, Cher showed up in this number looking more like an evil peacock with an unusually large face, than an award-winning actress.


MADONNA

Iconic. Revolutionary. Ground breaking. All these adjectives describe Madonna’s musical career. From the 1980s through to today, Madonna has sold tens of millions of records and constantly adapted to the times both her music and look. In 2008, Madonna was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, however on the night of her induction she looked more ready to attend the funeral of Abigail Williams than to accept the historic honor. She also has manly arms.


ROSE McGOWAN

Dating a shock rocker notorious for his outrageous dress and antics can have both its positives and negatives. You gain an instant VIP pass to all the coolest parties and events and may find yourself in paparazzi rags on a regular basis. But ,you also may be find yourself upstaged just as frequently. On the night of the 1998 MTV Video Music Awards, Rose McGowan showed up in a see-through gown that had less composition than the latest Michael Bay film script. While her look seemed good to adoring seventeen year-old boys everywhere, it ultimately proved bad for her career.


BJORK
From the “What were they thinking?!” pile comes this gem of a photo. Bjork, the tremendously eclectic Icelandic songstress took time out of her busy schedule to film a movie with Lars Von Trier, the widely acclaimed film Dancer in the Dark. Equally not as acclaimed was her portrayal of a swan, pictured above.


COURTNEY LOVE

The grunge rock movement spawned many still famous figures: Eddie Vedder, Chris Cornell, and of course, the late Kurt Cobain. But perhaps none was more controversial that Courtney Love. During the late 1990s, Love turned her attention to acting, starring in Man On the Moon, and The People Versus Larry Flynt. The result of the mixture of glam and grunge - garbage bag dress. Grunge chic perhaps? Perhaps not.


MICKEY ROURKE

A leading man in his heyday, Mickey Rourke surgically altered his face in the early 1990s for unknown reasons (was he drunk?). After disappearing from the silver screen for nearly two decades, Rourke was out of the red carpet world until recent supporting roles in Domino and Sin City. It was not until 2008 that Rourke made his Hollywood comeback complete, with the release of, and subsequent Best Actor nomination for The Wrestler. Known for his bad boy image Rourke is trying to re-brand himself as a young, hip, Hollywood A-lister. But he turned out resembling a r’oided-out pirate, in touch with his feminine side.


BRITNEY SPEARS


The stresses of celebrity can weigh heavily. After conquering the pop charts and selling millions of albums, Britney Spears’ world came crashing down. Prior to her complete meltdown, photos surfaced of her drunk and on drugs, underwear-less and ultimately looking like a trainwreck. She eventually lost custody of her children and was heavily scrutinized by the general public. From the height of her demise comes this intoxicating monstrosity .


MARILYN MANSON


When shocking people is part of your daily regimen, you’re probably not shopping at The Gap. And, unnecessarily long sleeves, crazy eye make up and militia boots are all part of the norm for the dress of this modern day musical vampire. But, Marilyn Manson never ceases to look like a combination between an alien and a albino child with ill-fitting garments.


RAVEN SYMONE


Oh, the 1970s: a decade of promiscuous sex, cocaine, disco, and bad haircuts. Unfortunately for Raven Symone, this picture was taken roughly 30 years after this era ended. The large-nostriled teen icon (above) seems to loved Ed Hardy so much, she made a shirt/dress out of one of his windbreakers. I don’t know why anyone even took a picture of her….But lucky for you, we cropped her face out of the picture.


THE PUSSYCAT DOLLS


The Pussycat Dolls are known for their on-stage sexual antics, and for being very attractive. Even though their fans consist almost exclusively of adolescent girls, TPD tend to dress as if they belong in a Spearmint Rhino. While you couldn’t take any of them anywhere, this picture has me wishing I was at a Spearmint Rhino, rather than writing this.


RUSSELL BRAND


Making a splash this year in the box office hit Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Russell Brand was became an unexpected favorite character of many movie-goers. Gaining roles in the upcoming Get Him To the Greek, and making controversial waves with his BBC radio show, Brand is currently at the height of his celebrity thus far. Suffice to say, he is one of the funniest Brits around, but his style seems to be derived from old Cure videos and maybe even a Robert Smith estate show or two. And, his hair reminds me of a diner I once stopped in at while on a cross-country road trip, where all the waitresses had the same teased 80’s big hairdo.


ASHTON KUTCHER

Ashton Kutcher has had quite a ride during the last decade with roles in a slew of semi-successful to relatively successful TV shows and movies. And he really seems to do it all: model, actor, producer, douche. But most recently, he is beginning to make a name for himself by fully embracing the ‘Brokeback Moustache’ look. It seems as if this is the result of his fashion/style consultant getting back at Kutcher for him embarrassing at a restaurant or something asinine.


ARETHA FRANKLIN

F-U-G-L-Y. Find out what it means to me…

JOSS STONE



A sultry, soulful voice - transcontinental appeal - absolute beauty. Joss Stone has all the tools of a great pop songstress, except that she perenially looks as if she dressed herself in the dark. Considered by some a sonic throwback to the days of great R&B, Joss Stone is proves that sometimes reaching for an older sound can lead to something fresh and innovative. Someone should have told her not to wrench her arm that far back when it comes to dressing herself, however. Because, this clown vomit-themed number just is utter garbage.

20 Hot Celebrities We Want To See Naked in Movies

Some actresses are OK with going naked in front of the camera and others are not. Although going nude should arguably be mandatory by age 25, many beautiful, young actresses actually have a no-nudity clauses in their contracts. While disappointing for the male audience, it has helped to generate demand regarding the world’s desire to see some of the world’s most famous full frontals. Here is our list of the top twenty actresses we want to see do a nude role sometime in the near future. So help us God, we will end up seeing at least half of them nude in our days.


Scarlett Johansson

According to The Insider, Scarlett Johansson has insisted on a no-nudity clause in all of her movie contracts, and will not do a movie if that clause isn’t added to her contract. She says this clause is important so that she will be regarded as a serious actor. Well, just because I’ve seen Paris Hilton’s sex tape doesn’t mean I don’t take her acting serious…Actually, that is a bad example…


Kristen Dunst

Dunst was quoted in an interview about doing nude scenes claiming, “…I don’t feel comfortable with that. I have younger people watching my films and I want to be a good role model and I don’t think it’s necessary, either, and it’s tasteless, for me, for a girl my age to be doing that in a film. I don’t think it’s right.” My Spidey sense is telling me she’ll do a nude scene if her career takes a turn for the worse. If this is the case, lets hope she continues to make movies like Marie Antoinette.


Jessica Biel


Though Jessica Biel has posed in some pretty revealing photo shoots for magazines, she is committed to not bearing it all in her films. She admitted, “I’m sure I’ve lost some roles because I don’t do it. The other day I read a script that required some nudity, something topless. It’s probably going to be a great movie but I just don’t want to do it.” Well here’s another reason for males to be jealous of Justin Timberlake, not only can he sing, dance, and make you laugh, he’s the only one who gets to see Ms. Biel in the buff.


Megan Fox

Thankfully, there is no mention anywhere about a no-nudity clause with Megan Fox. This means in the near or even distant future, she may reveal more than meets the eye. It was also recently reported that Megan Fox signed on to take Angelina Jolie’s role in upcoming Tomb Raider film. Just imagine if Megan Fox as Laura Croft, allowed us to find her treasure…Heaven!


Hillary Duff

Ms. Duff told a British paper in an interview in 2006, “If I do a movie I want to be myself. I don’t want to take my top off or anything.” She then added, “In the ‘States, it seems to be the trend to turn 18 or 19 and then take your shirt off and do something crazy, and I don’t know what comes after that.” Such a bummer.


Rachel Bilson

Ironic, Rachel Bilson in a 2008 Playboy interview said she refuses to do nudity, because in her opinion, “Movies can be sexy or sexual without showing things.” She almost declined to do the Last Kiss with Zach Braff due to the nude scene in the movie; she went on to applaud the role of the body double in cinema. Well there is no applause here, I just feel saddened and deceived, I thought those were your boobs Rachel!


Mila Kunis

There is some controversy whether Mila Kunis really appeared nude in a film called Boot Camp, or not. If you’ve never heard of it, you are not alone; it was straight to DVD in France. In any case, this bombshell is known to use body doubles if her movie roles call for nudity. She has not publicly come out and said she is against appearing nude in movies, but her actions continue to speak louder.


Jessica Alba

Who would not want to jump into this picture, and what is wrong with you. “Other than Sin City, I don’t really wear skimpy outfits in my movies. People know that I’m a prude. Word has gotten around,” explained Ms. Alba in 2007 interview. Regardless if she is a prude or not, Alba is known for parading her no-nudity clause around Hollywood like J. R. Knight at a gay pride rally (rimshot). Though this clause is frustrating, at least her fans have her swimming scantily clad in Into The Blue with super-douche bag Paul Walker. Seriously, this movie has one of the sexiest opening scenes ever committed to film.


Jennifer Love Hewitt

Though Ms. Hewitt is getting older, there are millions of men still dying to see those ta-tas unshirted. According to an interview done in 2005 Ms. Hewitt said she might consider it. “You know, I don’t really want to see myself naked, so I’m not really going to push that on other people. I wouldn’t wish that for anyone,” she then went on to say, “I don’t like to say ‘absolutely not,’ because if a great part came along… that I thought was really tastefully done, then maybe?” Until she takes that role, her Hanes bra commercial will have to hold us over until then. Good thing there’ s always RedTube…


Zooey Deschanel

When Ms. Deschanel was asked about nudity in film, she responded, “Well, my goodness. I don’t really want to do it. I’m not totally comfortable with full frontal nudity. I don’t think it’s necessary a lot of time.” Regardless of her stance on nudity, hipster and emo boys will dream of the day Ms. Deschanel changes her mind and decides to take on the role that will change their lives, something her fiancés music has never been able to accomplish.


Evangeline Lilly

Sadly Ms. Lilly hates having to kiss fellow actors on screen because her parents always object to any on-screen risqué behavior involving their daughter. She went onto say she agrees with her parents and, “I’ll never do nudity.” I guess that’s what you get from women with religious roots. Funny, these types either turn out to be prudes or all out porn stars, never anything in the middle. This is such a shame.


Sarah Michelle Gellar

Sarah Michelle Gellar has used the no-nudity clause to generate quite a bit of publicity throughout the years. Initially, she hinted that she might remove her clothes for the right director or the right movie. However, she soon followed her announcement with a contradictory statement in which she declared that she would never appear nude on screen or stage for any reason. When she announced this, male Buffy fans all around the world sadly and slowly staked their own hearts.


Isla Fisher

Though many people think they have seen Australia’s Isla Fisher nude in her role as the crazy sister in Wedding Crashers, this is not the case. Hollywood skillfully cast a body double to stand in for Ms. Fisher while she toplessly violated Vince Vaughn in all the right ways. Though there have been no public reports of no-nudity clauses for Ms. Fisher, the closest we’ll probably ever get to seeing her nude is by watching her husband play Borat.


Reese Witherspoon

Ms. Witherspoon once told Glamour, “If [actresses] take their clothes off, they objectify themselves. I am flabbergasted by how many legitimate actresses do it.” She then went on to say how proud she is to be a role model for her children, and that she believes humility and being non-judgmental are what made her successful as a never-nude actress. I guess she forgot she went topless in the 1998 movie Twilight…Resse, you dirty little hypocrite you!


Elisha Cuthbert

The closest we ever got to seeing the nasty bits of this Canadian dream nude was when she played a porn star in The Girl Next Door. Unfortunately the no-nudity clause reared its ugly head again, and robbed film-going males of all ages. As a result, internet message boards became filled with angry males who felt taken advantage of. Their tirades exclaimed, “We paid to see Ms. Cuthbert play a porn star in an R-rated film and all we got was a side shot of her boob.”


Anna Faris

Some controversy has surrounded Anna Faris and her willingness to break her own no-nudity clause in her latest role in the comedy The House Bunny. She called the entire experience “humiliating,” and blamed the whole thing on “complicated factors” with the body double. Though she did break her no-nudity clause, all that is shown in the movie is her backside. What is even more frustrating is that she broke her clause for a movie that tanked at the box office. I guess that’s what happens when you go back on your own principles.


Emma Watson

When Ms. Watson’s magical co-star Daniel Radcliff did a live nude scene on stage in London, the entire nerdom of Hogwarts jumped for joy in hopes that the now, 19-year-old, Ms. Watson would be next. When asked about on-screen nudity in an interview with a London Daily, Ms. Watson reportedly said, “Yes. For Bernardo Bertolucci. It, depends. I’m not getting my kit off any time soon, but it is part of my job.” After reading quotes like this, it appears there’s going to be a whole lot more on-screen magic for this young British actress.


Jessica Simpson

Ms. Simpson grew up in a strict Christian home, with very strict parents. And after she made the transition from music to film, there was a rumor she was in the running for a role that required full frontal nudity. The rumor ended up being false and her ex-husband Nick Lachey sighed with relief. America i


Cameron Diaz

When Ms. Diaz was dating Justin Timberlake (that bastard!), he was reported to say he did not want his girlfriend to do nude scenes. She responded to this by saying, “I won’t say that I won’t do nudity for other people’s benefit. It has nothing to do with other people, it’s just what I’m comfortable with.” Regardless if Ms. Diaz is for or against on-screen nudity, the public has yet to see more than she was willing to offer in There’s Something About Mary - at least on film. 


Jenna Fisher

Though Ms. Fisher seemed to pose nude on the cover of the geekzine Wired, she has been known to arogantly flaunt her no-nudity clause. She told The Insider, “Well, I wouldn’t do anything I wouldn’t be proud to show my parents.” That’s nice, she still respects her parents, but where does that leave her adoring fans? Apparently she has selfishly decided she owes her parents a lot more than she owes us.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Wild Hotties



















10 Creative Salt & Pepper Shakers

Ants Salt & Pepper Shakers 

The only ants that will get invited to every picnic this summer are this adorable Ants Salt & Pepper Shakers ($14.99). This fun salt and pepper shakers have a glossy black finish, plus wire legs and tiny antennae. 


Lift and Shake Salt and Pepper Shakers

Give your meals a real workout with the Lift and Shake Salt and Pepper Set ($14.23) that's strong on practicality and heavy on the charm. The shaker at each end of the barbell opens and closes with an easy twist; the weightlifter is heavy cast metal with a rubberized coating. 


Keyboard Salt and Pepper Shakers

Here's something fun to add some geeky style to your geeky apartment, these fun Keyboard Salt & Pepper Set ($12.95). They come as a set of two with the S key for salt and the P key for pepper. 


 Rubik's CKeyboard Salt and Pepper Shakers

Here's something fun to add some geeky style to your geeky apartment, these fun Keyboard Salt & Pepper Set ($12.95). They come as a set of two with the S key for salt and the P key for pepper.


ube Salt and Pepper Shaker

The Rubik's Cube Salt and Pepper ($18.00) will season your meat, if you're intellectually worthy. Solve the ancient riddle of seasoning, if you can! 


Hugs Salt and Pepper Shakers

The Hugs Salt and Pepper Set ($19.95) is all about sentiment; we can't help but think there's some of that black-and-white, everyone-get-along implication. 


 Good Chemistry Salt and Pepper Shakers

Spice up your life with a little of the Good Chemistry Salt and Pepper Shakers ($19.89) This amusing set of salt and pepper shakers is anything but formulaic, although a basic knowledge of the periodic table helps the joke. 



Burger & Milkshake Salt & Pepper Shaker Set

Bring back memories of eating at your favorite drive-in with the Burger & Milkshake Salt & Pepper Shaker Set ($15.95), fully crafted of ceramic. 


Brain Salt and Pepper Shaker

What's for lunch? A human brain! That's the idea the Brain Salt and Pepper Shaker (£9.99) conveys. It's made of two halves just like a real brain, where one side is salt and the other is pepper. Both the halves are kept together with a couple of small magnets and the brain is intricately made out of ceramic. 



Western Cowboy Boots Salt and Pepper Shakers

Get all western with these cute Cowboy Boots Salt and Pepper Shakers ($19.95); John Wayne would be proud. 


Bowling Salt and Pepper Shakers

This fun Bowling Ball and Pins Kitchen Salt and Pepper Shaker Set ($7.99) stands 4.5 inches tall. The bowling pin's edges contain small magnets, which allow the bowling pins and bowling ball to be stored in an action pose.